Amour
by Florence GJW
Summary: It was 10 years after the war, but Hermione still remembered every moment she spent with Severus. When they first met, the smell of his cloak , the way his face reddened. A story happened in their teenage years, Severus was the same age as Hermione. A Sevmione story, hope you love it. Complete.（The new version is now slowly updating to make this story better.)
1. Prologue

**Amour by FLH**

 **Prologue**

Hermione woke up at 10 o'clock, near the noon. The golden sunshine was wonderful, the sea outside was turquoise, someone said that it was her eyes' color. Who said that, she seemed to have forgotten it completely, but deeply inside, she knew that. The man she didn't want to think about anymore, and couldn't help herself to do it. She opened the window, and the irony air came in. She could hear the voice of cry. Since the end of the war, every smell has been sensed blood, every baby's cry seemed that the family which got new death information, but always reminded her the death. All things she didn't want to experience, and she did.

It was the mid of June, when some conflicts began. Many people thought that it would end soon, that they didn't have to prepare to do anything. However, the result turned to be wrong. It was an approach to test whether they were ready. She hated it, she hated all wars, but she had no choice, like the others. She loved peace, but sometimes one must fight to get the peace they want. She had to attend the war even though she was in her twenties. None could escape. It was hell. She went to one of the place that battles took place. It didn't matter if she is one of the people to fight, she needed to know how things happens. Actually, there was something other than she expected waiting for her. She saw a figure standing near the tower, dressing a black cloak, not well built, but health. She stared at him for a long time. It must have been the first time she loses all her manner, and can't help herself to look at someone so directly. She didn't have the answer why, why it was him, why she caught sight of him first of all.

Over the hard distance between them, she looked into his eyes. The cold one with no emotions which made her hurt. She continued to look at him, continued to be the silly one she had once loathed to be. Nothing can be last till the end of the world. She was forced to look away, the curse was behind her. The unfamiliar pain stroke her down. It was the first time she suffered the Cruciatus Curse. Every cell of her ached, only one part of the body was fortunately spared from it. She could hear her heart pumping in her chest, so sweetly, so warm. Everything other people said was insufferable only made her remember him in an unusual way.

The second time they meet was almost a month after. She couldn't describe how she was when during the month, the one thing that couldn't be wrong was she was somehow missing them. Missing the stranger she had come across in a battle who obviously rejected her by his eyes. More details should have been remembered, such as the other customers in that place, however, she got nothing of it. He sat in a café, sipping espresso. The dusk fell, stars tickling in a dim light. She came in, after took off gloves, ordered a cup of hot chocolate. It was one of her habits to enjoy her summer holiday, even though it wasn't a "holiday" for the battles were stroking many places right at that moment.

The café was crowded, she settled her cup next to his. They were so close, cuddled like a couple. "Hey!" she said as a greet. She had no idea whether he could recognize her. He nodded in return, and suddenly, her world brightened. His cup was empty, but he stayed there. As though her was waiting for someone. She didn't ask who, little flames were burning in her stomach.

The clouds slowly drifted closer, moonlight was weaker.

She finally decided to stand up, in the silence, in the crowded world, lifted an eye upon his, the darken one which reflected her figure, she liked to see it in his eyes, and their eyes met. It was a lovely night, all the emotions started to grown under the clouds and moon and stars. Everything hugged them to congratulate.

They wandered down the path lead to Hogwarts. A old path famous for love birds. It had started raining, no moon could be seen, water drops running down her skin. Slowly wet, she hummed some tunes. She couldn't help to smile every time she glanced at him.

The night had fallen, and the temperature was getting dawn. She sneezed, coughed with hoarse voice. She didn't take enough clothes with her. She assumed she could be back much earlier, but it was a good coincidence that she met him. To her surprise, he put his cloak on her shoulder, the smell of potions surprisingly calmed her, the warmth in it nearly made her cry. She thought he wasn't the man to give clothes to a girl, it might have been that she was special for him. She thanked his kindness, his face reddened like parrot, like clouds at dusk, like red hat she got in Christmas that she adored all those years. She adored his expression like a kid. She laughed, her voice echoed around.

She can hear it now.

They entered the hall. Both of them wanted to have a longer walk, but they discovered that it had been long passed the time they should have been back. Their bodies trembled, maybe because of the cold weather, maybe excitement, who knew.

Students were interrupted by their appearance, she stood still with her mind blank. Her hands sweated, clinging his sleeve. It seemed that after his appearance, her mind worked childish, disabled to deal with things. Unaware of pupils' curious looks, she whispered to him, requiring him what to do.

He made up an excuse. They were forgiven not until she said his words again. Apparently, something had been changed, not only between them.

He didn't ask her to give back the cloak, and she was too cold and nervous that she forgot it completely. He found his seat next to her. She didn't believe that humming birds got that heartbeats quick enough to kill a human. But she thought her heart had something changed, and somehow beat so quickly that she might end up heart-attack.

She put his cloak to her bag, under the books borrowed from library. The position for precious things.

The bread was well-toasted, smelled delicious. The bacon and butter mixed perfectly, milk remained her favorite hot one, everything except herself was the way it used to be.

Harry and Ron talked something to her, failed to get it through. She heard the words, she saw their mouth repeated the actions—open and close. She didn't know what are they talking about. She didn't have the right to stop them, though she badly desired it.

She couldn't give an answer to Harry and Ron's questions. She fallen in love with a stranger, and who so familiar as if they were lovers before.

Déjà vu.


	2. Chapter 1 Petrified

**Amour byFLH**

 **Chapter 1**

 _Hermione's fifth grade_

She came in Hogwarts chatting with Harry and Ron. The holiday they spent was too short that they only have it for several weeks. The mounts of homework let them have a none-free-time holiday. Even Hermione didn't get her preparation done. Summer holiday was believed to be sitting on beaches, buffing nails, reading books for joy and spending plenty of time sleeping in a soft bed as long as you'd like. However, they didn't enjoy any of those things. Their holiday was a holiday considered to be not qualified.

The hall appeared a little bigger than usual, as many of its things had been moved out for reasons who knew. It created the atmosphere that it was time for them to give up their comfortable life and attend the war. So sad to let these kids do that, Hermione couldn't imagine one of her classmates get hurt in the battle. How could they defend themselves against the death eaters who already have loads of experience before they even born.

Hermione heard Ron complaining in a low voice about the summer holiday they got and he didn't have the time to buy some new cannon's posters, while Dumbledore attempted to give a speech. She nudged him. Ron paused with disappointment- she had interrupted him once on the train. She saw a person was a friend she used to know, and then proved later she was wrong. She had said sorry to him, but she let him down, once again.

She spectated the teachers. Dumbledore wore clothes in his remarkable style. Professor McGonagall looked strict, and Hagrid 's face was the one she hadn't seen. Everybody seemed to lose their normal self, became a new, too old one. Something was wrong, she knew it during the short summer holiday. Their life wouldn't be the same.

There came the voice .

"As we knew, Harry had given his testimony of YOU KNOW WHO's return before this summer holiday." Students looked at each other, gossiping, horrified. "Daily Prophet had some reports of this, but what I 'm going to tell you is that they are lying." Whisper was louder. Dumbledore made a gesture to keep the students quiet." The fact is the reason we are here now. Someone said that the world was in peace, what made many of you believe in that. They are afraid of what is truly happening right now. At small villages you might even not the names, battles are injuring people who had been told that they would be safe. Blood is seen everywhere, children keep having nightmares, adults will never recover from the death of their family members." A few of girls worried, exchanged glances with each other, eyes wet. Some still questioned whether it is true. " The conditions mentioned above isn't the most scared one. Many villagers which their villages hadn't been destroyed found that some people with a mask on their face intrude their village, doing strange things which considered to be spies' work. The ministry of magic advised us to get you here to make sure you are safe. You can choose to leave now, the train will be waiting for you till next morning when it will take you home. But if you choose to leave, the time during now and the term starts we will not be sure you are safe, and if you get any hurt, it will have no reason why we will help you recover. I hope all of you can have your lessons done without being hurt by the war, but it seems that my wish can't come true. The war is due to be, as cruel as you are able to imagine. So, I ask you that if any of you were caught by our enemies, you would remember that you are a member of Hogwarts. Every action you take, it will stands for Hogwarts. I know it is hard, but teachers will do their best to help you stay away from the war. Enjoy your dinner now."

Forks and spoons were used, even George and Fred didn't tell jokes. Everybody grew up, instantly or longer. Silence filled in the hall. Professors stopped the ghosts to make fun of students, Hermione was right, they were so different now. Then a thunder came upon their heads, in that sky made by magic. She knew that could be changed by someone's mood, however, she hadn't seen it once. If she was the person who changed the sky, she would change it into a warm, sunny day, to let students have a better mood. Pictures of rain moved quickly, Hermione could feel the cold almost lead to shivering even though she put on heavy clothes.

The dinner was awful, Hermione thought when she kicked off her shoes before her bed. Students became different, the smallest of them were trying to act like they were adults. It was not the world she had got used to, she didn't "prefer" their way to be an "adult", that stupid way that could only cheat themselves. It was non-sense to grow up this way. Terrible.

The bed smelled familiar, fragrant, the same feeling of home. The warmth let Hermione cry, she knew that there is less time for her to receive a letter from her family talking about the new books, new process in their work, new desserts they intended to made. She left her home, had no idea when she could met her family again, or whether. Although she was only here a few hours, it turns out like she had been homesick for a long time.

That was the night she can't sleep for the first time, and it would last for many years, that she can hardly remember what she got to get thorough all that difficulties.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day.

"Hermione, what happened to you last night?" roared Ron with strange tone,. Harry also looked curious, they had been awaiting a quarter before.

"Those lovely books are excellent, the skills about how to use your wand for a potion. The books has an explanation about these skills that I think you should know that. It said here—"She managed to make them confirmed she was normal.

"Oh, please" two boys groaned. They obviously disliked these things.

They were reaching the long table which food had been put on. Most of the students had come before their arrival. Hermione could tell that they were still thinking about last night's speech and some things like homesick like herself. She looked around, found that none had left as the headmaster said. The saying Hogwarts is one of the safest places in the world still had its effect.

Hermione sat down and got a slice of toast, waiting for her arrangement for classes. They would began having classes today, without rest, like the beginning of a term. Draco Malfoy sent them the schedule, and played a trick—let them fell down on the floor. She picked up, many classes to be study, unexpected. She got a transfigure class in the morning, The lessons in the afternoon would met professor Sprout.

A new day was coming. She sighed in relief, she didn't have to let herself in a small box like "homesick" anymore, the lessons would busy her mind.

She chewing all the bread she had intended to have, and left the hall.

Time for class, let everything returned to normal.

They were running in that corridor in boisterous crowd when suddenly the crowds became silent. The screams were deafly loud. Then she saw it, that body laid on the ground with his face white, horror in eyes, bleeding gash behind his head. Everybody was so scared as if they were petrified. None moved. None could tell her why, none could save her from the death she saw made she so sad and terrified. She ran away, freed from thinking not having lessons, but only ran, kept running, till the end of time. Till she got tired. Till she, herself, was back.

The dizzy feel drove her crazy. She could here voice aback calling her not to go. The wind turbined. She fell, on something, or she didn't—she felt she was floating in the midair, like a bird. She didn't want to confront all these things. She closed her eyes tiredly, not want to wake up to meet a world so cold.


	3. Chapter 2 Swirling

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 2**

Harry's voice was still swirling in Hermione's head. The cover of the book which she was holding had been torn in her hands, fingers clenched. She still remembered that sentence" What did it matter? Did you get a cold in August." Every cell in her body froze right at that moment. How could he? How could he insult her like that? She refused to answer that question, or to look at those emerald eyes where the friendship used to bury deeply inside. She couldn't be aware of what she said and what their response was. Her acts annoyed them, and they left her alone in hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was holding a potion, heard it all but didn't say a word during this.

Back to the beginning

Hermione came around, found herself laying on the sheet which sending a smell of grass. With mist in eyes, the figures around was unrecognizable. She reached out a hand, caught another one, sweating, heart pumping. Who was there? "Can you see me clearly, Mione?" It was Harry. She wiped her eyes, still couldn't. She turned, tried to be lying in another angle, but failed. Disappointed, she shook her head, didn't feel like to talk. She could hear Ron sighed, Harry's hand ceased and then back in humid. "It won't last long." Her friends said, the usual tone couldn't assure her. She was gracious to what they said, but who could say thank you after waking up, founding the poor eyesight you had newly? She tried to smile, only managed to let her lips curved a bit.

In a few minutes, no one explained anything to her. She wanted to know, but she didn't want to ask. She was afraid of the truth, though curious about it. She didn't know how to stop silence, or if she wanted it to stop. She was acting so strange, so temperamentally. She shouldn't have been in this way. Several minutes after, she heard Dumbledore's voice "Miss Granger, it is so good to hear you woke up." Footsteps striking towards her. "Could I have time along with her?" inquired him. The boys nodded and left the hospital wing.

"I am a bit late because of restoring the corridor, I hope you won't mind this. Since that day, loads of students have suggested me to make some difference for they don't want to recalled it every time they walked near. Most of them are Gryffindors, maybe it has something to do with the student, he might have had a lot of friends from your house. Oh, I think you would like to know what happened that day." A pause. Hermione agreed of course, though it wasn't really needed. He must have come here for this. She knew that.

"You must know that there is a lake in Hogwarts called The Great Lake. There are many fantastic creatures, some of them haven't been known to the public. I have been there once twenty years ago, and I have to say that I am not able to deal with some of them. Harry and Ron followed behind you that day, and when they finally got near you, you were in that lake, whole body shivered, hands up, struggled for help."

Hermione wanted to deny, but Dumbledore continued his depicting.

"As you may assume, they were scared. But thanks to the cold weather, which I thought have helped them to find themselves back. They swam to help you back to the shore. Your eyes were bruised. And you are here now for a better treatment. It is a pity that we can't distinguish what attack you that day, however, fortunately they have a little effect on you that you will recover soon and back to class this week. Harry and Ron were so excited to hear that news. You may want to know the student who died that day. The student died in the corridor 'cause he slipped and fell down to be hurt seriously. We are so proud that we have a student that has so much sympathy and kindness towards a stranger, we also want that student to take better care of herself." She blushed.

She didn't know when he went, she just kept thinking. What was he trying to hide from her and why couldn't she know it? She had expected to learn something more than lies, however it was impossible. What thing could take place in a crowd and no one even notice it?

Harry and Ron brought her food for dinner. She gobbled up.

"What did that student experienced?" She asked tentatively.

" He fell down and injured by the sharp edge of the stair." A brief answer.

Did they believe it? Yes. Why? They saw it, they shouldn't.

"What lessons have professors taught?" She tried to pick up another topic.

"Nothing important, you know, the new term has just started." She let out a sigh. She knew that answer before the question had asked. She hated silence, but she didn't know what to do.

"Hermione, are you better now? What happened to you that day?" Harry 's hoarse voice.

He must have been so tired these days.

"Much better, thanks." Her voice cold like ice. She wanted this to stop.

"Everyone is normal that day, what do you want to lie to us?"

"Sorry, I'm –"Cut down by her thoughts.

What was wrong? What could she imply?

"Do you know that student? He was recovered a few hours later. Things like that happens everyday. What did it matter? Did you get a cold in August?"

"Miss Granger, it is time for them to leave, you should take these potions twice time a day for a week. If you have any pain, come to me." Madam Pomfrey.

"Thanks."

"Do you have any other problems?"…

She wandered around the castle, and eventually came to that corridor.

She bet that it was Dumbledore's style, the mix of bright color actually made her smile, with tears filled up her eyes.

Only a couple of days, but she just felt that she had been old already.

Nothing could be seen now. It seemed like it was a dream. So poor the student was, none of them could remember his death.


	4. Chapter 3 Apologize

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 3**

The corridor 's colorful decoration seemed to be destroyed. Some of the "must-be" yellow ones was now red. The red was more like orange. Filled with rotten smell, the corridor had a sense of blood mixed with war, suggesting terrifying. So, if her memory was wrong, in what to way explain these things? If someone was not seriously hurt, there must be someone to clean it, and nothing would still be here. If her memory was right, why Ron and Harry disapprove? Why they didn't see what she see? They were her closest friend after all.

She saw it, saw it by her eyes. It was inevitable. The student's gash could be seen once she closed her eyes. Bleeding so helpless among the students, the student lying on the floor, panting with pain, unable to stand up, unable to groan. Everyone was horrified that time, none could rescue him. Every student just stood there with their eyes glued on the floor where lied the poor student who got injured. It was the scene she would never forget. No matter how long she worked on trying to let it slip out of her mind, her achievement was merely to be seen. The spots on the wall almost drew a line in blood of the action the student fell. Nothing she remembered and inferred was impossible, but what happened to those who saw it but didn't know it. What happened to her dearest friends when they can save her from drowning on one hand and on the hand couldn't let her knew the truth.

And then, what kind of truth it might be? She couldn't stop imagining the horrible ones. All those pictures filled with blood, corpses with so much cuts, twisted human forms.

Sometimes, it's really hard for one person to keep her mind going when all the things like that going on in her mind.

She was late to notice that it had begun a break between classes. She looked at them straightly, blankly, couldn't think for anything. It was just like that day, though wrong direction. The students flooded out of the rooms into corridors, holding books in their hands, throwing curious looks at her.

She suddenly became the old her. Old memories came back full force. She stared wide eyed at the whole situation, could make out of the mess in front of her.

What should she be doing now? Maybe run away. She might not be this right to have school yet. Madam Pomfrey could run a test for her. She might be tucked in bed and have another day to rest.

Ron was calling her far apart. Same as Harry. The two worried. A warmth turned up, then swiftly disappeared—she didn't want to face them.

"It's good to see you here. We don't have lessons this afternoon, so how about talking in the common room, there will be almost nobody to disturb." Harry inquired, his hands stretched on the side of his robe.

"Sure." She said, found him saying something just before she could come up with anything fitted.

The sky was grey, the colour let people to be reminded of sorrow all of a sudden. The light was dim, little of it shone through the curtain. Dark as the common room was, fingers could be seen through the gap between cloth. The atmosphere was something she disliked, so she opened the curtain. The forest was covered with heavy fog, being divided into several pieces by the window frame.

"So, can we start it?"

"Oh yes—"Harry stuttered. Hesitated. He wasn't sure of it, but it seemed like they have no choice. They had to go through this in order to prolong their friendship. And apparently, Harry didn't want to lose Hermione. They had been friends since they got on the train for the first time, both of them were so important to each other.

"Listen. I don't mean to hurt you like that. On that day, you suddenly dashed down the stairs, Ron and I had called you many times, and you didn't even look back. We didn't know what happened, nothing was wrong. We've asked some of the students happened to be walking near you, and none of them could explain what exactly was the cause. You see, we are worried about your security, hope you won't mind about that. We followed you for a long distance, though we used magic, you were too fast for us to catch. When we finally managed to reach you by a branch, you plunged in to the lake. The water was cold, as ice was floating on it. You were swallowed by the lake, getting down quickly. We swam to help you, I grasped your legs, and Ron caught your arms. Getting you back to the shore was exhausting, but, fortunately, we all made it back. I only want to know what was the matter with you? Were you all right?"

It was the thing she should have known. She knew Harry did his best to recover the relationship. There was still something between them, and it must accumulate through time. Things about how the student got hurt was different from Dumbledore's version. It was obviously they didn't know anything else, so it was no need to ask them why.

If Dumbledore don't want them to know, they he must have some reason, and it would be improper for her to say what she already knew. It may cause trouble.

However, she still felt a wave of guilt. Before knowing this, she, herself, had been angry with them not letting her to know the truth. And now she became the person that had something hidden from them.

"I got a kind of disease that day, lack of oxygen, I ran out to get some fresh air. You know that the lake it's my favourite." Not anymore now, she added in silence.

"I know you won't tell us the truth, but there was only one question I will ask which is can we be friends in future?"

"It is good to have you guys around." She didn't say yes or no, their friendship will reach an end some time in the future, she was totally sure about that. The wound had been caused, and there's no way to cure it. She wasn't going to promise forever anyway, a moment would be safe.

The accident was like an iceberg which might let their friendship sinks at any time. She didn't like any bit of it, and this is life. This is the way life acts.


	5. Chapter 4 Another side of the coin

Amour by FLH

Chapter 4

（Back to that day）

Students are screaming, they can't move. People who are near the dead student have turned around, not willing to see the flesh. Thanks for the noise, professors soon come. Some of the prefects are the first to recover and wake to the world who tell the professors what have been taken place. The last thing they see is Dumbledore pointing his wand at them. Several brows raised, but they all sank into sleep none the less.

"Hagrid, could you help me to take them back to their beds, and make sure they will not sleep in other's bed while they are unconscious?" Dumbledore asked Hagrid.

"My pleasure." Hagrid nodded and led the students up the stairs.

"I think it is high time to have a conference. We will gather a quarter later in my office for I have to talk something with Poppy. By the way, I love tiramisu these days." The headmaster then strode away from his fellows with his robes billowing like Snape's.

It was the thing must be done, they knew that through his words and he didn't wait for an answer.

"Poppy, how did he die?" He had never seen anyone having the ability to do this in Hogwarts. The castle had its own magic to protect student.

"I don't know. It might be a curse he got in the summer, or someone cursed him that very moment. There is no way to have us back to that time without changing anything which means dangerous, and as a result of it our clue is cut." Poppy closed his eyes after examination. It had been years since something like this happened to this school. Honestly, she hadn't seen that her whole time in this castle. Even if "who-must-not-be-named" was still here. She frowned at the scene, a bit lost.

"Actually, I've never seen anyone got this before. I learned that from a book, which recorded the last one happened hundreds of years ago. And there was a complicate way that I couldn't achieve to know how it works. Oh, that book was in a book shop which also sold a number of books of dark magic. I can't remember that book shop's name for I haven't been there since the first time. The books there were too dangerous for anyone to read. Hopefully, there would be way to find it out." Dumbledore said nothing to her, and left the wing. There were professors waiting for him in his room.

(A quarter later)

"Why did you use that spell? It is illegal to use to students, and you will be send to Azkaban for a life sentence. "McGonagall was furious. Her fists struck on the table." Students have the right to know everything happens to them. You can't let them be ignorant like that. This kind of accident maybe happened to any of them, and you can't just escape away from it. You have to let them know what is going on here, in our precious Hogwarts. Being aware of all these, they can be cautious and prepared the next time—"

"What spell? Wasn't that a comfort?" Slughorn asked, reading the newspaper in his hands. He didn't take this conversation that seriously.

"It was a spell which could make you mad if you say the wrong tone for its strong effect on confusing memory, which will cause a part of your memory blocked and nowhere to be found by yourself and the most terrible one is that you won't find yourself missing something. That's why the Ministry of Magic banned it completely. And give the user a one way ticket to Azkaban."

"I want them to have a better life. Their life has already been miserable because of the war, it will give them nightmares, how can they overcome the bad time if they go on with these?"

"Don't tell me these nonsense that any nanny can, spare us some useful things." Severus spat beside McGonagall, arms crossed over his chest.

"I have read the disciplines by heart. That student was cursed by a spell that Poppy can't remember clearly for its long no-use. I always expect my students to experience more, like Harry, they need more practice. However, I slowly started to understand that it is precious for them to have a life in peace and quiet, something like now. In the end, they have to grow up, they have to learn more knowledge, they have to face more enemies so that they can survive every single chance to live a longer life. Just this time, the last time, they will be protect from the tragedy. I beg you not to release their memory." He bowed his head with sincerity, eyes full of tears.

He lifted up, patted his hats, and led his way to the door. "It is over, maybe you would like to enjoy your Monday."

He walked to the lake where he liked most when in bad mood. The water was vibrating, which addressed him as odd. Then Ron appeared out of water to breath, crying something for help. He rushed out for it.

"Why are you here?" he had to be cautious after today's events.

"Hermione ran out after the accident and nearly drowned here. We came to help her." They were hard to breath, saying in a harsh voice.

He waved his wand towards them, _sorry_ , it's what he must do.

The beauty of world is its uncertainty.

Hermione's memory couldn't be erased.


	6. Chapter 5 Discovery and a walk

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 5**

The new term had begun two weeks. The weather was crisp and cool, more like Fall. It rained frequently, Hermione could predict that it was a rainy day today. They had been doing their essays since last night, with huge amount of books left open on the table. Every professor, includes Hagrid, gave them essays, as if they would be sent to fight against death eaters next week. Someone had made "Time is limited." as their motto, it's common scene of a student rushing in the hallway with a little group of books floating behind his/her back. Their notebook had been filled with sayings to encourage them. In this atmosphere, they had their first Hogsmeade week, stressful and dreadful as had predicted to be.

Hermione intended to stay in the library to find books to solve her problems, and that accident remained unclear. Harry and Ron would tickle that pear and take some biscuits for her, which was actually her favorite in the night spending with books. She knew that she should go and get some news from outside for she hadn't received a copy of newspaper that should be sent two weeks ago. She doubted that it was because of her "blood" , because those who were "muggle born" were experiencing the same.

It was quite in the library, she couldn't help go to the books on that "special" shelf which was forbidden to pupils. No one could see her now, nobody was around her, it was safe.

A scan of the books and she found that one she had dreamed of since three years before—a book teaching readers how to do dark magic. People always thought that graduates from Gryffindor would like nothing of dark magic, but she knew that how harmful they were and how useful they were in the defending. Which she thought would be enough to be a kind of 'certification' in this area. White and black have nothing between them, cause they are the same with different forms.

She read the book, exhilarated, the content of it was obviously banned, exhibited, she didn't afraid but dislike how cruel it was, well, it would be Voldy's right to suffer this. Then she saw that spell, it was normal in that book, but she had a feeling that it was special, special from all others. She turned to that page, the image made her disgusting as it drew the harm to the person who was cursed with that spell.

It said that the spell could be used only in maximum danger for its cost of the user's blood, and the user could not use another spell for a short while. The user could give a little time when the person would die. During the time the person haven't been dead, he would have suffered MOF but without conscious.

It was evil, apparently, extremely like the accident, to let the students die, but did't need to kill him in Hogwarts.

"You should go out, the weather is better today."

Thankfully, it was Ron, which meant he wouldn't look at what book she was reading. And yes, he got a point there, she need to go for a walking.

"I'm having a walk, would you like to come? I will put these books back first." She knew that he would come. It was a little bit weird, but she just knew it. Déjà vu , once again.

"I'll come." Ron agreed as she expected.

They were strolling on the grass, while students were coming back from the village. She could feel his attempt to talk to her, they really need that. Since when did they last talk about themselves, not about the war, not about homework and essays, just themselves? They definitely need a heart to heart.

"What do you want to know?" She had to be like this. Being the first one to set the topic, to control where this conversation was going. There was no need to say something they both dislike, and distance their already dying friendship.

"I get these biscuits back for you, they have a lot of butter, several girls said they were the best, though they seems to consider it will likely put on a lot weight."

"Oh thanks, that is really kind of you. Where is Harry now?" She had to talk about something. Didn't know that he was sending her some biscuits, and have to let this mistake pass unknown.

"He was being with Ginny when I left, I think he will be back soon."

"Erm" Chewing the small ones in the box, she managed to get a voice out.

"I want to ask you some question about potions. I know you are good at that." Ron said, stiffed at the mention of potions, resisting to find some help nonetheless.

They reached the castle, he finally determined to keep it to himself.


	7. Chapter 6 The ghost

**Amour byFLH**

 **Chapter 6**

The next week was tranquil and so were the several weeks after. Hermione had discovered some useful information about that curse, but others were still unclear. She even tried some legilimency, no process. She knew things she needed could be found in some store Hogsmeade could never have, and where Gryffindors should not appear. The searching made her emaciated, more to that, thanks to Ron and Harry, she had to do an extra homework. On History of Magic, their noise made professor Bins couldn't stand, and gave them essay of something she never heard before, and neither did they. Those two begged her to help them, and she, being the best friend of the boys, and the brain of the golden trio, accepted.

The windows was blocked, professors explained it as a precaution for the war, though she didn't see any need. Yeah, precaution had to be taken with the war's approaching, but there's no point in afraid of being hurt to this extent. Windows could prevent nothing if they truly wanted to make a damage. Consequence of that, the room was suffocating, the temperature reached a new high, the insufferable atmosphere made her sick. Nobody was here except her, and she was going to leave. In a second, the door of the common room opened, slowly, no one was behind it.

Blinked. Glaring for a while. She stepped backward, it wasn't wind, even wasn't a fool play. Peeves never does this, no students do this. She could sense the dark magic in this room. She clutched her wand, and asking, shaking profusely" Who's there?" Her voice echoed in the empty room, died down then. No one replied. She felt lack of oxygen, the room was instantly ten times hard to be in. Who had that ability to get in Hogwarts, did all these to her and left her alone, confusing? Maybe Voldemort, his wonderful knowledge and the use of magic. Or someone else. In a frantic mind, she cried out loud, broke down. Sitting on the floor when becoming aware of the decline of the temperature. Hot like summer turned to icy cold. She was not the girl in bed saying she was scared by ghost and earn a comfort from soft hands and comforting words from her parents. She was a teenager who should be able to overcome difficulties, who should not afraid.

"I will ask the last time, who were there?" The same as last time. She was depressed, how could she deal with this some kind of thing she doesn't know. Then she heard a knock on the door. "Yes?" "It's me, Neville Longbottom." A chubby faced boy stand out, nervous and curious.

"Oh, sorry, I was just tired and my eyes hurt, too much reading today. I think it is an illusion. Sorry."

"Never mind, I have that time too. It's okay to read less sometime, you know." Neville offered an awkward smile and climbed the stairs leading to the boy's dormitory.

But it was not her. She said in a low voice.

She knew there must be something before Neville appeared, she had no chance to find it out. She sighed heavily, she refused to look at Neville's expression. All things she didn't want care about, she would let them go.

" I need to go to the library to meet Ron and Harry now, thanks." She walked through that door, she could feel something warm accidentally covered her, and disappeared a second later. There was nothing. She hugged herself, the warmth must be another illusion her mind made up. Is there any ghost has a warm temperature? They appeared to frightening, she shuddered at the thought, every move would make you frozen.

The long way leading to the library gave her a lot of time to think about what was it. She weighing about asking Luna, but she was recognized "mad' though she got a gift in magical animals and plants. Professors wasn't a good choice too, what would they think of her—a missed girl seeking for a mother or father, that wasn't what in her plan. The only solution was book. They would never play jokes on her, never look down upon her. Books are the most loyal friends who have whatever knowledge you want to know.

The "ghost" always referred to the creature like Peeves, but not the thing she expected. She could see "ghost" but not ghost. There were still several sits for her to read in the library. Lying her books on her knee, one of them students wasn't allowed to look. But, who cares?

The pages was an needing "anchorage". She turned them carefully, hopelessly, what could she get out of this? If she finally find something, then where would it be? What should she do? Try to find that ghost and say "I know who you are."? No, it wasn't what she intended. She had already using plenty of time searching for that accident, and she got plenty of homework to be done, no time for this.

What could she do to get away with these things?


	8. Chapter 7 Her imagination

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter7**

Going to bed with her uniform, she kicked the cover off, and got a cold as Harry say. Her friends cared about her state, and took it seriously. Under the cover, she hope they didn't, she needed that. She needed a new beginning. It was like an episode need a new beginning for you didn't fond of the present one. Her long hair fell down to shoulder, every inch of it was mixed with dirt for she had a nap on the grass. She could feel that inch of earth was still under her body, the soft grass and the rough dirt. It was like her childhood, when she got tired from playing, she would lie down to see the blue sky and white clouds hovering over the sky moving like movie stars, only with slow motion. She'll stare at that for the rest of the day, imagining the future. Would she be a writer? Would she have the chance to research the history?

She would read books about everything, everything in the world, and she would travel to France to see the lavenders, those lovely purple flowers. She would read English in the best university in her country. In that university she would meet people who would have the same interests, they would make something big together. And that would be where she would meet her soul-mate, he would meet her in the corridor, a grade higher than her. He would tell her how to solve the difficulties in academia, he would use his eyes to look softly at her with love threatening to lash out, to explode. She would fall in that trap once she look into his eyes. Like some insects falling and sticking on the web made by spiders. They would get married as soon as they graduate, with her best friends being there to bless them happy forever, with her parents would be smiling with tears. They would have babies, she and her husband would approach forty when they would have time to researching. He would still look young, but more handsome in his forties. More mature. They would devote their life to love each other. If one of them died first, the other would live as long as possible to help see the world and take care of their children, grandchildren. After hundreds of years, would be lying in the same grave, their souls cuddled together. They would act like prince and princess, as all the fairy tales goes.

Then she got that letter from the magical world which made her dream collapsed. She didn't mean that it was wrong, but it brought her to live a new life. She had imagination that she would keep. No matter how weak it was, She was mad for it.


	9. Chapter 8 The meeting in a village

**Amour byFLH**

 **Chapter8**

She got this piece of newspaper thanks to Harry who paid the money to a stranger who had owned this. It was cut from a whole one, very carefully. The newspaper only said one thing—a village being hit by death eaters and burned which none could manage to put down. No name was revealed, the picture of a woman and her two children be in a deep embrace when they were found died near their house was a strike. How could they? What kind of people were they if they did things like that? They were the same human being as the people they killed, but they obviously didn't care about it. They saw people died in front of them, because of them, and all things in their mind only told them it would have been okay. Hermione knew it deep in her heart that they were making constant battles like this, and they wouldn't even flinch. She had thought they would only had lives of male adults, which proved to be wrong. They didn't care who the people were, they just want to kill. Did their hearts still beat? She could say no. Without doubt.

With the second week of Hogsmeade approaching, students had already put on their thick clothes. The weather was colder than she had ever experienced all these years. With the temperature below 0, she believed that it was even about to snow. They did say that sometimes, the weather around Hogwarts was unpredictable. She decided to go to Hogsmeade this weekend, she needed to find something to verify that all the news she got from that piece of paper wasn't just kind of story. She wanted to know what the people there really felt. She wanted to know the distance between students and this crazy, cruel death eaters' activity. There was a village she wanted to visit, she had been living there once she and her parents were on a trip to Yorkshire, she didn't know it had a relationship with the magic world, but she liked it anyway. The small town met all things she imagined, the soft greenish grass which could be used as a bed, the blue sky and white clouds could let you carefree, the broad space which could let you play any games you like. Classical country life was guaranteed to be found here, she loved that place. When she heard that heartbroken news, she knew that she would go. It had been put into a war. She had learnt apparate and she wanted to have a try.

"Yes, I'm gonna go there." She said that when the two boys asked. They had recommended her to go anyway. Though she didn't mean their "there".

She chose a pair of boots and thick gloves to wear, knowing it might be colder than here.

"I want to have a cup of drink in The Three Broomsticks. I will be waiting for you guys there." It was enough information to give in order to get away them. Feeling a bit sorry, she added:" I still have some books to read, need to keep update with the professors speed, yeah?"

"We will bring you some your lovingly "grasses." "She forgave their word about ingredients for potions.

It was time for her to go.

She landed on a stone by the lake, she leapt and stood on the ground. Having the view of the whole war from a particular angle, she wasn't easy to be found. Blood is everywhere. Everybody was growling. The sound made her dizzy. A few people had their wand in their hands, most of them was wearing a mask, indicating their identity. Not until a good ten minutes after her arriving did she see that man, standing on the high tower with his robe flying behind him .

It was too late to move, she was hurt by that spell, all she could remember was his beautiful eyes, dark with no emotion. Onyx eyes.

She was sent to the school directly.

"It hadn't been long to see you once again here, Harry and Ron." No one was amused.

"Where did you go? We thought you had been back for we didn't see you in the bar, and we came back seeing you here, lying in the hospital. Heard that A man with black cloak carried you here without a word and left. Who was he？Do you know him？ How terrifying he was! Nothing could be found in his eyes, he's like a robot! He even accused me for being too loud and doing useless things! Can you believe he even threatened to tell the prefect?" Ron said first, Harry nodded.

"I don't know who he was, didn't he leave his name or anything?" She carefully hided the information, intending to know more.

"Nothing. I think you got a point there, you shouldn't go out to Hogsmeade anymore. It was too dangerous."

"But—" She needed to see him again. Although meeting only once, for seconds, she had already started thinking about their next meeting.

"We will give you a hand on buying things, anything you want, you don't need to go there to let yourself be in any trap that will probably been waiting for you ." Harry offered.

She had no reason to not disagree and reject that.

How could she go? It was like a cliff-hanger about this thing, she couldn't deny that she was looking forward to see that man again. She would say thank you to him, and ask him about something else. But it was difficult for her to even get out of the castle. Not that that man could be in the castle if she wished.

What should she do?


	10. Chapter 9 Ball

**Amour byFLH**

 **Chapter9**

The puddings had good taste. Every single one had a lot of fruits and flowers smell inside it. Every bite was a joyful experience. Hermione took them for her breakfast. The students hadn't been here, so she would have plenty of time to enjoy this morning.

Last week was difficult. The speculations were popular among students, saying her had something "unlucky", and some of them would run at sight of her. She was puzzled, only because she had experience something unnormal she had to punished in this way? What were they thinking? Were they in their right mind? She did nothing wrong, and she was the one who deserved a welcome, something she didn't have.

On the contrary, professors often looked her in pity, watery, eyes. The way they looked at her made her think that she was some kind of animal like puppy looking at its master with its puppy eyes.

There was still something made her excited. The dancing party was about to be held. She had attended one last year, she adored it. The make-ups and high-heels made her a princess, other time she looked like a Cinderella. She didn't keen of these, but these could help her. Every girl had an attempt to be more beautiful.

That night would be the high time. She had been waiting for it since she got the news. She saw the notification on Tuesday on the way to the hall. To her relief, the ball didn't have the "discipline" that everybody must have somebody to go together, going along would accepted. She didn't invite anyone, and some boys' were declined.

It's true that she had a good time with Victor Krum last time. The infamous Quddich player was a gay company. Loads of boys want to go with her, seeing her beauty last time. However, she wanted everything to keep to himself. Undeniably, she found the idea of going with that man especially interesting, despite how impossible that could be.

It finally came the night she had been prepared for a long time. She was wearing a skirt and sleeveless upper outer garment. She used a lipstick which was bloody red. With heavy make-up, clothes in-fashion , she would be dazzling and dashing tonight. She would be a teenager she always wanted but failed to be. Many might consider her to be the one only into books and neglect all other things which was terribly wrong. She didn't want to do something against her parents, like doing snogging with other students, but it was her youth, she could made it to be the way she liked.

The hall was decorated in a Gothic style, with marble floor, painted windows. Dumbledore wore his usual unusual clothes and toasted with Mrs. Pomfrey, the mediwitch first caught drinking wine in the hall. She was turned around and around the night, making her a bit dizzy and nauseated. The partner was a shy boy, simply dancing even made him blushed. The gentle breeze was comfortable and cool, she excused herself and to go back to the dormitory and put on her coat. She didn't want to dance anymore. It was enough for her. It was like you had expected a feast a long time, when it ultimately began, you discovered that you figured out that it got nothing on your imagination. To your disappointment, you sat down and pretended enjoying it. But there would be moment when you finally couldn't bear it, and you would leave. That was something people always called naïve.

Hermione was waiting for someone who hadn't make his appearance and who never promised that he would.

Hermione headed back to the Gryffindor Tower. She needed a sleep.

The dream was puzzling. She got up a little bit earlier than others. The sun had risen, it was bright in the room. She found a notebook in her bag, and turned to a new page. She drew a man, a man appeared in her dream.

He had a black cloak, and black hair and eyes, everything black. The brunette was sitting on the tower, beside a girl with bright smile. The girl had no appearance, only a figure with a goofy grin. They were having a conversation, he rested his chin one her shoulder, dazing off. She patted his long, raven hair. She didn't write any sentences like any other picture she drew, any could destroy the dream.

She then painted another one on the next page. The new one more clearly. The picture showed a man with her girlfriend walking on the avenue. She was pointing something, he was about to nod. His lips curved with adoration. His smile was precious which made she laugh.

She knew a spell that could made them move. She waved her wand. Someone was calling her.

"I'm coming."


	11. Chapter 10 The letter

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 10**

Trelawney's homework was annoying, you had to make up something you knew it wouldn'thappen and it was miserable enough for someone as you in order to get a better score. Harry and Ron was changing their minds as usual, they chose this subject because it was easy to make up, and it proved that they were wrong. They were really tired of making up their own death.

Hermione was working on her essays and her own research. Sun rose lately that morning, clouds had filled up the sky. Actually, none had predicted that would get looked up to find that snow-white owl patting the window.

After opening the window, the owl flied towards Harry and bit his fingers.

"Ouch. It hurts. " Harry sucked his finger and opened the envelope. "The letter is from snuffle."

They came to sit around him, since that day Hermione seemed to have some trouble sitting with them closely and lasted a long time.

Dear Harry:

I haven't seen you since you left the station this summer. Days have been passing slowly, for I get nothing to do. Every minute in this damned house is a torture. And you know, I don't like this big house that I simply stay in the places I need to which let the whole house became a flat to me. Fortunately, I can cook something myself, maybe you will enjoy pizza in your next holiday. All teenagers love pizza, right? And if you like, I can send you some of the handmade cookies. Even Kreacher said they were delicious, though he continued his endless murmurs.

I've heard that you and your friends were getting through a hard life. I can't say that I don't worried about this, but you have better know that how useful this knowledge is, and it's what I want to talk about.

The newspaper came last night was a horrifying one. I don't know if you already know it. The news was about a family. Father and mother were both muggle-born, and that was the culprit. But they were attacked the day before yesterday in their home, their children were nowhere to be found. They were insane now, and couldn't remember everything. If it is only about they are muggle-born, it is immortal, deserves anyone to stop. I don't know whether it is true, but there's something I need you to learn from this.

Do take care of yourself, avoid going Hogwarts with muggleborns. They are not wrong, but you need to be cautious nonetheless.

Harry, a book about Quidditch was sent, and I think it will be in your hand soon. Maybe you will like to write to me about something new?

I 'm looking forward to your letter.

Yours Snuffle

P.S. Kreacher liked to complain about me starving him and wanting to work in Hogwarts. Maybe you can see him soon. Hopefully the little filthy thing will obey and stay in the house. If you spot him anytime, contact me.

The owl flied out of the window in a beeline.


	12. Chapter 11 Survive and die

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 11**

The night falls. Stars twinkled beside the moon. The moonlight was smooth, like silk on the ground. The somber alley, wet walls, two people's figures could be seen at the end of the alley, near the corner where a café situated. Passers-by crossed it without listening what those two were talking about..

"Would you like to fight against this yourself only? You have already had the information of their strength, the ability they have and what they can do in the battle. They don't have enough experience now but doesn't mean ever. Frankly, you don't have the chance to live more than one second in their hand, neither will they give you a chance to escape from the hunt and let you live a peace life. Nobody will assure of being there when you were in danger. If you cooperate with us, we will come to you according to this gadget which can be put on your finger and give us your location when you are in danger. Our organization has a number of people can help you and your family who have already past the aurors' training. And if we can't be there, this gadget will help you to escape for its functions are various as some dose of potions could be injected into your enemy's body and let them die a painful death. It is the best way for you to live a longer and better life. Remember your children asking for food when you come home every night and you have nothing to offer them? Thinking you could carry on like that? Stop daydreaming. Join us and get a decent job for your family. And I'll come here two months later for your decision."

The man walked away, his cloak floated above the ground. The smell of potions suddenly spread out. The other man sighed, and shambled out of the valley. "Papa, will we have any food today?" that voice occupied his mind. He bent to pick up a gadget he dropped for long time making decision when a car came right in this way.

Nobody could bring the news to his family that he got a way out of all this, no family member could survive through this. It was the bloody war for shouting out loud. Nobody get away with it.

Blood got nothing on his desire to hold that. The car causing this accident had long been gone when aurors arrived.

Doctors and nurses gathered up for the rescue. Pipes on his body, blood came into his body in many ways, but his body was cold. It was no need to do this, he was clearly making his way to the death himself, no pull could pull him back.

That was the third patient they have there who was sent with a gadget like that. They had asked a lot of people what those small things were, but nobody knew. They had never seen something like that, so they guessed that it was a new wearing and had no functions. Maybe it worth something. The man was unwillingly to be alive, but the other two had this chance. They might survive from this. It meant that they might get to know what the gadget is and what for.

It was about to shift, nurses yawned with their eyes closed, their arms high above their head. The dawn slowly came. Sun rose on the horizon, on the mountains and to the clouds. They went around to see if any patients felt needing a doctor—the last thing before shift. They chatted about the boutique they would go to after work, a fashion clothes was there that with a celebrity endorsement.

"Hey, are you okay?" They opened the door, but no one answered. One of the nurses remembered that he was the first patient sent here yesterday with the gadget, he might not have awaken yet. So they came near his bed to try another time. And had a check.

He was breathless, head low down on his chest, hands crossed in front of him. He had been dead for a while. He grasped the gadget tight in his hands, knuckles white. They were scared to scream.

Some people went to see the other two who were all found dead in their bed.

On that day, a newspaper reported the missing of three squibs. A newspaper from the wizarding world that they never knew.

People in the muggle considered it to be a terrorist attack and set alarms, didn't know that it would be useless. Rumors saying that the hospital got some virus owing to terrorists and infected three patients. The gadget must have been some king of container of the virus.


	13. Chapter 12 let us start

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 12**

Hermione was awakened at 6 o'clock when the rays of sun started to glow. She watched the sun went higher and higher, glaring at it blankly, unable to think anything. Her mind broke down, all the world slowed down. Only her and the picture of illusion exists in this simple world. Only her dream, impossible, dream exists.

A new day came, a new Monday, a new week, a new time to refresh her girly thoughts of infatuation.

She went down the stairs, her head held high. She needed to pretend she was the old her.

Harry and Ron were there waiting for her, they were talking about chess, and she was late again. Her apologize seemed not sincere enough, but stopped them questioning the whereas, nonetheless.

Walking through the corridor, they couldn't hear as much voice as before. Not because none was there, but something they interrupted. Hermione reacted quickly, and stepped out from the trio. "Sorry, we don't know that there is an important speech, could we come in."

"It's not your fault, don't have to bother, close that door by the way." Professor McGonagall responded with a frown. Apparently not that lighthearted like she let on.

It was then Hermione discovered that Dumbledore wasn't in his place, and McGonagall was standing there in front the whole school, giving a speech. She hadn't heard any of her speech before, and it was confusing that Dumbledore wasn't here listening.

They sat down with relief, the attention students paid them slowly drifted away. She was waiting for the rebeginning of the speech when some classmates asked her of delay. She didn't have time to answer as the speech rebegin soon. The feminine voice was heard all over the hall.

"As I said before, we decided all of you would go to Hogsmeade since this weekend. We believe that it will better for your experience and your thought of the world, which will help to have more chance to survive in the war. Hogsmeade is dangerous as some of you maybe aware of, but we think that it will be a challenge that you would achieve. Of course, you can choose a secure way of being together with your friends, prevent the accident happened on Miss Granger, but we would like you to be more independent since it's where our intention lies. Professors will be there, but we can't assure that we will be able to help you on some cases as there are only several of us and hundreds of you. I know there will be some death and injury, but it will be better for all of you that we decide this would be use. If you have any advice or suggestions, please come to me during the week, so we can manage it before the weekend. And, it's not some compulsory course, you can choose to stay in the castle if you like."

They listened in disbelief, it was great, but Ron and Harry was still worried about her security.

"I know what you are thinking, it will be fine. I can use a lot of spells the death eaters haven't even heard, right? It will be better for my security in the long term, and I believe that you will be around me to protect. So, I can go there without any worry."

They looked at each other, and nodded. However, still a bit unsure.

The week past fast, and the lovely Saturday with the opportunity to go to Hogsmeade came. The weather was fine so they went with lighter clothes.

The trio couldn't make up their mind of which place to go, ending up in the Hogs of Head. It wasn't crowded, costumers much less than the others. The boys ordered some beer, and settled on a seat near the window. The dim light and blues made it like a movie, they chatted about the homework, professors, the news they got and the things to do in the future. They had their own dreams, the same as all children and Teenagers, but except adults.

It was good to listen and chat with people like Harry and Ron, but she wanted to go around. There was a chance she could see that one man she had been thinking since there meeting which she didn't intend to waste. It was hard to stop them going with her, but there always was a way around.

"I need to get some new notebooks, you know, the girlish one with pink color and flowers." She stuttered. But the new arrival poster in the bulletin helped.

"Hey, there is a new book about Quidditch and Charlie, let's have a look."

"Mione, can we get together at school?" Harry and Ron inquired with their eyes shining.

Her answer was weak because of the long distance. The boys had already rushed out of here.

And there began their second meeting.


	14. Chapter 13 On the other side

Hermione was shocked, she didn't notice there was someone behind her in the tower, this late at night.

"Oh, it's you. I haven't asked what's your name, so could you tell me?" Familiar tone and voice made her wanna cry. His voice was so comfortable, so warm, yet so distant were his eyes that could make a shiver run down her spine. It made her thought of her home, her parents, her insecurity and time when she was overwhelmed. He was like a harbor, a place she knew she would be safe.

"Of course, my name is Severus Snape. I'm a student in Slytherin."

Are you? Obviously not. Hermione noted in heart. You won't be here then. I did have classes with Slytherins, and I know each one of them. She thought with some proud, very confident in her memory. However, her passion soon vanished as she suddenly realized that he didn't tell her the truth which indicated that she wasn't important or trustworthy enough to him. Then, what was the point that she imagined their future?

She was pushed out of her own thoughts by his voice.

"So, you are here for the scenery, would you like a cup of drink?" Damn it. What should she say? Her eyes wide with panic. Though she didn't intend to have a future with him like her dream anymore, she still struggle to give him a good impression.

"No, I think it's time for me to get to bed, we have lessons next day." She stuttered, blushed deeply. She didn't want to bother him to go far to fetch her a drink. Maybe next time when the war is over.

The man in black stood and patted his robes. He helped himself to feet and left the tower to company Hermione. Where would he go? She hadn't got anything yet.

"By the way, it's not a good behaviour to follow someone, you must know that before."

The footsteps disappeared.

Hermione relieved and leaned on the wall, her clothes were wet. She was like a fish wanting oxygen and came out of water only to discover the oxygen's absence. She wasn't that strong. She was scared when she heard the last sentence. She hadn't make a move, but the sentence was made in that way. She came out in night, without caring the rules she always cared about, to find out what Severus was hiding about, but all thing was like a joke putting her leg. She found nothing, with all her knowledge which she always proud of, to find out she couldn't get anything from him.

Who was he? The question she could give an answer as" Severus Snape", but no more.

She curled, and enjoyed the scenery all night. She could always hear that boots clicking in the corridor, leaving with no goodbye.

The night came and gone all in a sudden.

"Hermione, had you got a nightmare yesterday? Look at your eyes, they told me you will have bad luck today,and—"

"Ron, stop speaking in that tone, I'm ok." She was irritated at his words. Couldn't he notice that she wasn't in a good mood and stop doing that to her. Yeah, she would admit she was abnormal today and couldn't bring herself to be happy. Yet she expected something more from her friends.

And she saw him, near the door, those onyx eyes falling upon her, letting her stomach twisted.

"Professor, I want to make the potion with Severus together." She asked the professor without eyeing Snape to see how he was doing now. She was afraid that he would reject this, and to her relief, he didn't. He nodded to her, seems accepted her offer, put his things on the seat next to her where it was a Gryffindor a minute ago. That girl left with horror, nearly dropped all her things.

"You must hand in a potion at the end of the class." The professor continued with his lesson while students get out their parchment and scribble something down. A chalk was doing its job of writing on the blackboard.

"That skill was brilliant, how did you get to know it?" She whispered, her eyes fixed on his book where notes was written all through out the white paper. Curious as she was, she reached out and tried to get a hold of that book.

Rumours around.


	15. Chapter 14 Loca 1

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 14**

Hermione was shocked, she didn't notice there was someone behind her in the tower, this late at night.

"Oh, it's you. I haven't asked what's your name, so could you tell me?" Familiar tone and voice made her wanna cry. His voice was so comfortable, so warm, yet so distant were his eyes that could make a shiver run down her spine. It made her thought of her home, her parents, her insecurity and time when she was overwhelmed. He was like a harbor, a place she knew she would be safe.

"Of course, my name is Severus Snape. I'm a student in Slytherin."

Are you? Obviously not. Hermione noted in heart. You won't be here then. I did have classes with Slytherins, and I know each one of them. She thought with some proud, very confident in her memory. However, her passion soon vanished as she suddenly realized that he didn't tell her the truth which indicated that she wasn't important or trustworthy enough to him. Then, what was the point that she imagined their future?

She was pushed out of her own thoughts by his voice.

"So, you are here for the scenery, would you like a cup of drink?" Damn it. What should she say? Her eyes wide with panic. Though she didn't intend to have a future with him like her dream anymore, she still struggle to give him a good impression.

"No, I think it's time for me to get to bed, we have lessons next day." She stuttered, blushed deeply. She didn't want to bother him to go far to fetch her a drink. Maybe next time when the war is over.

The man in black stood and patted his robes. He helped himself to feet and left the tower to company Hermione. Where would he go? She hadn't got anything yet.

"By the way, it's not a good behaviour to follow someone, you must know that before."

The footsteps disappeared.

Hermione relieved and leaned on the wall, her clothes were wet. She was like a fish wanting oxygen and came out of water only to discover the oxygen's absence. She wasn't that strong. She was scared when she heard the last sentence. She hadn't make a move, but the sentence was made in that way. She came out in night, without caring the rules she always cared about, to find out what Severus was hiding about, but all thing was like a joke putting her leg. She found nothing, with all her knowledge which she always proud of, to find out she couldn't get anything from him.

Who was he? The question she could give an answer as" Severus Snape", but no more.

She curled, and enjoyed the scenery all night. She could always hear that boots clicking in the corridor, leaving with no goodbye.

The night came and gone all in a sudden.

"Hermione, had you got a nightmare yesterday? Look at your eyes, they told me you will have bad luck today,and—"

"Ron, stop speaking in that tone, I'm ok." She was irritated at his words. Couldn't he notice that she wasn't in a good mood and stop doing that to her. Yeah, she would admit she was abnormal today and couldn't bring herself to be happy. Yet she expected something more from her friends.

And she saw him, near the door, those onyx eyes falling upon her, letting her stomach twisted.

"Professor, I want to make the potion with Severus together." She asked the professor without eyeing Snape to see how he was doing now. She was afraid that he would reject this, and to her relief, he didn't. He nodded to her, seems accepted her offer, put his things on the seat next to her where it was a Gryffindor a minute ago. That girl left with horror, nearly dropped all her things.

"You must hand in a potion at the end of the class." The professor continued with his lesson while students get out their parchment and scribble something down. A chalk was doing its job of writing on the blackboard.

"That skill was brilliant, how did you get to know it?" She whispered, her eyes fixed on his book where notes was written all through out the white paper. Curious as she was, she reached out and tried to get a hold of that book.

Rumours around.


	16. Chapter 15 Loca 2

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 15**

"Professor, I want to make the potion with Severus together." Hermione popped up from the seat near the back door.

Who was Severus? Harry and Ron looked at each other, but they soon got a conclusion that neither of them knew who he is. Was he a student in this class? He mustn't be one. They hadn't known his name before. But who would come to Hogwarts at this time. They hadn't met anything like that.

Severus, this name do hear like some male. Being the ones contact little with girls, they knew guys more. And they didn't think anyone could knew this person.

They stared at Slughorn, he must have known who Severus was, maybe he would introduce the new student to the class. But the consequence was disappointing, he just allowed, he didn't really know who the student was , he only needed the potion be done. They also doubt whether Slughorn had heard the name clearly. Then, the "Severus" must have been somewhere near Hermione, for they were a pair, but they couldn't see anyone near. It's like she was doing things alone.

Who was Severus?

"You should make that to powder, it will be better. And your hand should act like this." Then his hands made an action like squeezing something. The effect was perfect.

"Thanks, would you like to give me a hand?" His skills were wonderful, why didn't he do something.

"I get a kind of disease that I can't touch the ingredients, that's why I didn't appear in the classes before. No potion can be made without ingredients, right?" the intonation was heart-broken.

"You can see me do it, it will be the same as you do it, don't worry. You will get better one day."

She could hear that disappointment in the sentences, but she still didn't understand. If he never made potions before, why did he know these skills. Every witch or witches has their own skills, only gains from experiments.

They didn't talk until the end of the class, when Hermione gave the potion to Slughorn, and the mysterious boy said goodbye. She had intended to ask him something. She knew he lied, and she knew he knew she knew.

But it was such a good opportunity to ask for other things about him. It was not usual to see him, and even more—get some information from that mysterious boy with his almost never opened mouth.

The sight of Slughorn, his curious and sympathy look, took her back to reality. Why he looked at her that way? And then Harry and Ron and the others, she didn't do anything!

She hurried out the room, Pansy's voice still loud enough made her cry.

"I think she is insane. She made a potion with someone we can't see. Do you believe that? That man actually doesn't exist. It is all something she imagined. She must be a "loca", it's a Spanish word for lunatic. "

The low temperature of the floor made her calm, and that fact saddened her.

Her mood was totally ruined.


	17. Chapter 16 Spread

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 16**

A secretary went in the office. He was in a hurry, his glasses fell on his nose, and his hair was in mess. He walked very quickly, and said: "Mr. Fudge, you'd better look at this." It was only seven o'clock in the morning, the work day hadn't started yet. "I'll look at it as soon as we begin to work, it's too early." He yawned, nothing mattered to him more than a sleep, he had been working all night for some requires from Weasley, but he didn't think he would help him in this case. "You can have a breakfast first, I will read it and solve it in a very short time. Don't need to hurry, you should be at ease. The final war hasn't broken out yet, now is the time for you to enjoy your life." Maybe the last bit time you'd had.

The secretary put the newspaper on the table, "Read it and I'll go." Which put some kind of command in his sentence.

But he didn't want it. All he needed to do is staring at the newspaper for a moment and pretending he knew it thoroughly. He picked it up, put it in front of him, and then the title hit him. He stood up.

"Three squibs were found death in a muggle hospital killed by a muggle thing which considered to be magical."

"What's it all about?" Oh, he realised he didn't have that time to look at it. He needed to inform the press and declared something, he could already imagine the letters coming to him condemning he didn't do anything.

"Three squibs were sent to the hospital in the same day, they all had a gadget with them. On the morning of next day, nurses discovered the three had died unreasonable. The muggle world thought it was a terrorist attack. But someone of our world must have known something about this and recognised it as magical."

"Inform the media that we'll have a press conference about this, and tell them to write it on their newspaper." He left with the order.

Who attacked them?

Knock on the door.

Weasley.

"Sorry, sir, it is too early to come, did you call me?" He was sweating.

"Have you seen this?" He leaned forward.

"Yes, I have seen them last night." He was still scared about the news. Too cruel. Who would kill someone just for their disability of magic.

"I want you to make it clearly to the public." Fudge had already been fed up with this man. He hadn't given him anything as a gift for his leader. He had been working in that office for a long time, but never do things in his favour. This work was a sign for he was doing something for the community, who really cared about the three lives? It might be need to give their families a sum of money, but they would be in silence. Which, in result, would let him keep his position in the minister of the magic. Who would stick to this point then? He barely need him to appear as a solution, no work else would be need.

"I will be waiting for your news." Oh, hopefully it would be successful, he didn't have a lot of time to enjoy his afternoon tea since the war began.


	18. Chapter 17 Christmas

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 17**

Christmas is always a holiday worth expecting, the world will be filled with white snow. Every inch of the road is slipping the way you like it. Kids will be looking forward to their gifts, in the socks they unwrap in the morning. They will have time to play weeks, making snowballs, snowmen, all things snow. The Christmas tree will be decorated with small lights which will warm the cold night.

Hogwarts was a good place for Christmas with the sight of view that could never been seen at other places. The castle was always full of surprise, every student would get their presents on that day. It was difficult to choose between back to home and staying at school. This year seemed easier for the few students remained could be numbered by one hand.

Hermione was one of the ones left, but her two best friends—Harry and Ron chose to spend their holiday in Hogwarts. Harry adored Hogwarts as his home, as for Ron, his mother said it would be safer in school because of something his father was sent to do. The words in the letter was so limited that they guessed it must have been torn by somebody before they read. And such thoughts let their hair on the neck stan. Harry and Ron had trying to persuade her to stay with them, but she protested that she wanted to go home, and promised to bring some news and new discovery and the most important—chocolate for Christmas. The two boys missed them since they hadn't got one all term. They happily agreed on this, and told her to take care of herself during the holiday.

On the day of leaving, they cried. Who knew what would happen during this holiday that might part them forever. Special time to have special worries. She took notes of the mood on her way home. She was eager to see her parents, they must have already been there waiting for her which warmed her at the thought of it.

The train stopped at the station, she discovered her parents' figures, they were thin, pale, and in agony. There was a hand stretching her heart. She hurried off without taking her luggage, the train wouldn't leave an hour later which spared her enough time to get her luggage. She paced slowly, like she was a kid who had just learnt how to walk and afraid of falling. She could hear voices, the greetings, the different accents, the world she used to. She didn't want to know what happened , she wanted to get closer, only closer to find out why her heart was hurt. So hard.

She suddenly knelt down, the ground was cold, snow falling. "It's so good to see you Hermione."

"Leave them alone. I can give you anything you want. You see, my hands up, no wand." She plead, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Sorry, I am not here for a lesson to teach you how naïve you are. Step back." The man with a mask on his face scowled.

She did what he said, she tried to calm down which failed.

"What do you want?" Her voice shaking. Her parents were already out of conscience.

"Their lives."

Her eyes narrowed, she was about to move, when her parents fell on the ground, face in snow, nonresponse.

Empty-brained.

Phases like a movie started to show in front of her. They taught her how to pronounce her name, their worried looking when she got a fever, the family tree they showed her to remember, the delicious food they cooked for her. Above all, was the complex reaction when she got closer which she now realized but missed before. They had done nothing wrong but give the life of her. She was a killer.

"Avada Kedavra."


	19. Chapter 18 Schedule

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 18**

She killed someone at the station. The thought struck her, but there was something more important to do—going home. The girl put her luggage on the car, using her trembling hands to find the keys to make the car move. She finally achieved it, all she wanted to do is back to home. The accident took place at the station was not true, was only her illusion, her parents must have been waiting for her in their home. Look out of the window time by time to check out whether she is back. They must have prepared a shower and a feast, everything she needed and dreamed of. Nothing had changed, only her parents chose to stay at home waiting for her.

She tried to make herself believe it, however, she managed to make herself more disappointed. The air in the car recalled her the memory they went back home the other years, their chat which she impatient to join but her parents never stopped to get a word from her. She hated it, and in memory of it now.

She came back to home, turned on the lights, spoke loudly to ask whether they were at home. No one answered, the house was too cruel to even make a sound. White walls seemed like the coldest ice in the world. She tried another time and another, though she knew the result, she just couldn't stop. The cold winter day came, with happiness, companied with more sorrow. Snow stopped, she could hear the passer-by, the sound they made because of delight. She sat down in the position she used to, as if she could still those voice calling her for breakfast, her answering with attempt to sleep more. They had always been nice to her, but strict to teach her something they thought important. She had never imagined what would her parents be that she would like, but she loved them.

She took a deep breath, and decided to make a list of things to do in the holiday.

Solve the mess

Her parents deserved best graves.

Learn to live along

Her parents left, and she didn't have any relatives, she must do something to make a living.

Sell the house

She didn't need the house, she needed more money to learn more things. She could live in Hogwarts and maybe only there for a long time, the most necessary thing was to learn more and be the proud of her parents. She determined to get it back as soon as she would have more money.

Search for the murder

Someone, some organizations, must have been the culprit behind all these. The one she murdered must have been one of them. So she needed to find them, and let them be punished and sent to Azkaban for a life long sentence.

Search for the spell

She couldn't forget that student's death. And, somehow, she felt her parents' deaths, might have something to do with that. Who would know?

First of all, she needed a sleep and got better next day to do things.


	20. Chapter 19 muffins

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 19**

She didn't have a good sleep. As though the bed was old and nearly to break down. But she knew it well that it wasn't. She didn't have a nightmare either. It was mystery that her body hurts so much like this. The morning came slowly, few lights of sun shining through the curtain which woke her up. She went to have some washing, and discovered herself in the mirror like a mad woman Pansy had said before. Her hair was blowing with her moves and seemed like it hadn't been washed for a month. Her face was white, she was frail, and she looked like someone running a marathon yesterday.

She almost wanted to smash all the things in the bathroom when she suddenly realized that there was no one to help her tidy it, no one to take the effort she made. She would live along from then on, no one could help her do things only her parents would. It was so sadden, the one who had definitely loved you the most of all people around you was the one who left you the first and you had to learn how to live without them teaching you how to do things. Live like a good person, do good things, and so on.

She was intended to call the takeout, but she paused after dialing the numbers. She hesitated. It must have been a surprise for both of her parents to see that she had grown up, she could make herself something to eat. And mostly, they didn't have to worry about her life from now on.

She slipped into the kitchen, didn't want to interrupt something. She did want to make a feast, but it had nothing about move all the things they left. She hoped the kitchen smelled like them.

Everything she touched was familiar. She could still see the flashbacks of her past life. She was about 6 or 7 that year, and like many kids that age, she adored muffins. The small cakes gave her the warm feeling she could never understand why. She always asked her mom to make it for her. It was too difficult for a girl her age to make one. Her mom, in all her memories, hadn't spoken aloud, and often smiled like she was the biggest gift God had given them. She liked stay in the corner reading a novel, while smelling and hearing things about little muffins. When it was time to have them, she would rush into the kitchen, couldn't help to touch them though they might be really hot. Which often ended up hurting her fingers. Her mother usually laughed about this. She had brown curly hair, landed on her shoulders. She laughed, her hair vibrated, making a beautiful line around her neck. Her warning to not touch things that hot was still whirling in her head. Something she couldn't forget for so many years. She could still remember all these things.

The one thing that really upset her was that the memory about the dead would not go away with them, and would constant ghost you. That would also be something that she felt thankful for, she wouldn't be herself if she lost memories about her parents.

She didn't know why her love those muffins initially, but she could hear a strong feeling of home in it. Every family has something can recall the members that it was home. It was safe, you have your family here, all behind you. They will support you anything they have, even their lives. She didn't know what was with that thing, but she knew that little muffins could do it to her. The moment she thought of them was like her parents were around, and her mom could make it for her, to see her joyful face. It was like a bridge to communicate her with her past warmly life, her parents, her childhood happiness, all things she was a child have to her normal life here, which she must have to live like an adult. To earn a life, to carry on after facing difficulties knowing there was nobody to help, to not have spare time to play with others, to be busy not to think about sad things. That's so much for her, a teenager, to shoulder.

She put some flour, get some eggs, throwing plenty of sugar.

She didn't have to look at the cookery book, the scene in her memory was enough for this.

She finally achieved it, plating into a big plate, putting on the table. However, she didn't have the attempt to eat it.

She stared at those little lovelies, and her tears fell, uncontrollably.


	21. Chapter 20 Diagon Alley

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 20**

Hermione found that she needed to go to Diagon Alley. She had to find a job, though she didn't know what she could do, she had to earn herself a living. It was a thing on her list, and she wanted to have it done first. It was the usual Sunday, a new weekend for kids and their parents to enjoy. As children and parents got a Christmas holiday simultaneously, many of them came out to buy some special holiday things like gifts, together as a family. She saw a family, a typical one—two parent and child, buying a hat. The girl chose a green one, didn't match with the holiday, but both of her parents didn't advice for another choice. Her father, who had got blue eyes, smiled to her smoothly, warmly. Her mother, also chose a green one, saying that she chose right, it fitted her perfectly.

Slowly, tears filled up her eyes.

She went through the alley quickly, like she was holding something back. She walked too fast, some teens her age watched her, astonished. She didn't feel like to see these things that let her think of her parents.

The first time they went into this Diagon Alley. She was 11, and not as tall as now. She stood on her toes, hands touching the window, acting like all these things was a dream. It was too much for her to understand. She couldn't believe things could be done only by swaying a wand(a small piece of wood), all things were different from the things she had gotten used to. Her parents were happy to see her had a good time but it was obviously that they were worrying about what should she do when she get to school? Could she get used to this? She wasn't born and grown up in the magical world. She was too confident, too young to accepting that there was something she was worse than the others, and she couldn't change.

She had that worry as her parents. But what did she think about it later? Oh, yes, she hadn't mind this, she thought that it could get better through her hard work. If she learns harder, none can beat her.

None.

Slowly, she found some confidence in herself through her younger self.

The weather wasn't good. Clouds filled up the sky, like a black painting hanging in the wrong place. Passer-by gave her strange looks, but she didn't mind it. She didn't have that time, she hadn't had that experience before (she was aware of it), but somehow she managed to ignore it. Her cloak covered her whole body, protecting her from the others recognising and inquires.

She was disappointed to discover that Diagon Alley didn't have any store wanting someone like her. Then she came to the last choice—Knockturn alley.

She really have a hatred towards it. It seemed that it linked to something bad, to something bloody disgusting. It always had an atmosphere of death. At some point, death is non-sensible, doesn't have any phenomenon. But she sensed it long before now, on her first trip to Diagon Alley. She glanced it, scared at it, and hurried to the other direction.

She had no choice of turning back and running away from it this time. It was time for her to be the one she needed to be.


	22. Chapter 21 Neville's change

**Amour by FLH**

 **Chapter 21**

Neville had never seen something like that all his life. Hermione's parents were killed in front of so many people, so many witches and wizards, but none was able to rescue them. He had thought about every scene, but he still couldn't understand the whole thing. He remembered seeing a number of people rushing around, crossing her parents. It was obviously that they knew what happened or would happen to them. But they acted like they didn't notice, or they didn't care. He couldn't believe them. They weren't the people he grew up with, he chatted with, he played with. He knew there must have been someone too bad to do nothing good. Those people didn't have a heart, however, he hoped that he could believe in most of them. Most people in the world were good ones, weren't they?

He didn't have an excuse to assume that they were worse than he, himself was. He was one of the culprits, though he didn't attend the activity, instead he was unable to let them survive. He knew that adults like his grandma would say that it wasn't his fault, but he knew it was. He shouldn't be a kid anymore, he should be a man. He should be a person who could help others who were in need. It usually didn't belong to boys his age, but he realized the time was different. He was a Gryffindor, right? He should be bold enough to do things that others think beyond his age but useful.

He had loved the time spending with her grandma, though she was sometime too strict. He was sure to love that still, maybe all his life. But it was time for him to grow up.

He settled near the desk, took out a piece of parchment and a quill. He did that step by step, as a little child learning to write something for his first time. He wanted it to be as a ceremony, a ceremony to admit that his teenage years had gone, and buried it deeply inside his heart.

He decided to let his teenage years slip away, with only memories remained in his heart. He would say that he had once been a teen, but he was an adult now. He would do things adults do, and more, to help more people.

He wrote every word slowly, his hands struggled to write every letter. He was fighting back tears. He trembled, sweated to make his clothes wet. His stomach twitched, he stretched. Sadness came through his body, every inch of his heart. It really hurt, but he didn't wanna cry, he should be a man.

He sent it to Harry, relieved. He 'd better they get the news as soon as possible.

Harry:

Are you ok? I've been missing you since I reached the station.

I'd like you to know that there was an accident taken place in the destination of the train. On the platform, where many students and their parents have been through, and you must have been there several times, which give me happiness at the end of each summer, a tragedy happened. I only saw that before the final moment, so I don't know the whole story. Hermione was sitting on the ground, and her parents were killed.

The platform was crowded by the time, and I didn't have a chance to approach her. She drove away, and I was so worried about her. You would be scared if you see how fragile she was. She was in sorrow and shock, and you may like to write her a letter to assure her. You were good friends, and it will help.

I wish the war to cease, like a child wanting to let carrots cease. I wish that we could be a teenager, rebelling, which was us.

Hope you are alright. Don't bother to reply if you are busy with something.

Yours Neville


	23. Chapter 22 The Weasleys

"Hermione, is it you?" Molly Weasley inquired behind her. The Weasleys never go out individually.

She suddenly frowned at the voice. She knew who said it, but she hadn't expect to come across them today. More than that, she didn't have an explanation to them. What should she say? She didn't believe that they could believe she "accidently" walk to this place near that alley. She didn't have an excuse for this. She didn't want to talk about her parents' death, that had caused her nightmares since it happened. She still could feel the horror of losing someone so important to her, and she was sure talking about this was going to drive her mad. She had to turn around and greet them, although she didn't attempt to.

"Hay, I was just lost my way, and I thought that alley was bad enough to do me some harm if I walked into it. It's so nice to meet you in holidays, I haven't seen you since last summer. How are you doing?"

"We are fine, thanks. It's so nice to meet you too." Molly Weasley welcomed her with a embrace. So deep that she coughed, she didn't wanna leave as she had done before. She didn't noticed the expression on others face, she relaxed in this tenderness.

"We've heard you confronting some difficulties these days, and we can talk about it on dinner table if you like." They were striding down the road leading to the burrow. Hermione had accepted the invitation they offered to her to stay with them till the start of a new term, and she actually loved it very much. She had been stuck with the terrible memories in her home and she needed a escape, a place to think freely, and stayed with people treated her like their daughter. They were like another parents to her, and she was so graceful for that. She was so lucky at this point.

The burrow was like what she saw last summer, and she found it a bit quiet without their kids being around. Molly advised her to have a bath and a good sleep as a rest, and promised to wake her up before dinner. Arthur didn't say anything, but she could say that he was worried about her not less than Molly. She climbed upstairs, hearing the whispers. She didn't want to tell them they could be heard, she was enjoyed herself with the idea that there was somebody caring for her, both mentally and physically.

She let the water rushed down her face to her collarbones to her abdomen and finally stopped at her feet. The warmth washed down as the water went. She watched them repeatedly, once and once again. In this way she could feel that she was still alive, she was a human, she would have a future. She was feared of things all these days. She had faked before others which didn't mean the same that all her wounds had been healed. That worsened her wounds, and if it had been a real one, it must have been no way to be cured. The waves of sadness could bury her in hell and couldn't get out since then. She knew it clearly that it was not the time for her to break down. She worked mechanically, but she wasn't a mechanic, and she couldn't have a break down as they did. She was half amused and half worried by the idea that she started wish her to be some kind of mechanic.

She switched the tap to close, and dried herself with a tower she brought from home. She was sick of the smell of it. It was like an addict to her, she hated and loved it.

She threw herself on the bed, told herself to not think of anything and just sleep. Thanks to the bad sleep before, she fell asleep soon.

She was wandering around a small village. A man in black was staring at her. She was familiar with that face, but she couldn't remember who he was. The battles was cruel, there was a lot of things for a person to do, but she just couldn't move. She was stuck on the ground and couldn't move a finger. The terror made a shiver down her spine. She wanted and needed to move but she couldn't. Then she saw the scene companied her these days—her parents' death. They were a pace away, she could hold them if she could move, she could feel them, she could feel the warm tears on her cheeks. She couldn't do anything but tearing, tearing to the end of time.

"Hermione, dinner is ready."


	24. Chapter 23 Leave her to live along

"Mrs. Weasley, I was too tired and I slept soundly. I didn't hear you outside the door, am I late?" She was a bit shy when confronted them, she wanted to give them a good impression. She had been here and stayed here for a long time, and the Weasleys treated her like one of them. But it was not enough, this time was different. She might have to stay in the Burrows for the rest of her school year, no family could afford this to a 'stranger'. She didn't mean they dislike her, but she needed them to let her stay. She had nowhere to go to. All the plans and decisions made before seemed to disappear. The warmth she longed to and found in this family brought her to a state that her courage decreased. She knew it was bad, but she were keen to return to her normal life. How much she wanted to convinced herself that nothing had changed during this holiday.

"No, I haven't felt hungry yet. I have eaten to much in noon, and somehow I thought I should postpone this. But Arthur argued to me that he was starved. He keeps saying that before meals. He did not really mean it. However, in this case I thought you might need a meal. So, take it easy, you are like a daughter to us, and we won't blame you for getting up late. Would you like to have something now?"

"Thank you, I think I may have something now." She blushed. She was told to behave better and she didn't have the interest to let others think she was crazy for a supper. She was a bit embarrassed. She closed the door and followed Mrs. Weasley downstairs.

Arthur Weasley was waiting in the living room and reading newspapers. She glanced at the title, an accident about her parents. He noticed she had been aware of the thing, smiled, assuring her to have dinner first. They sat down and Hermione took a deep breath. She was delighted that the food was delicious and her favourite.

Molly was the first to break the silence. "We have seen your parents a few times, we had a very good time together. Arthur adored your house, he loved all things muggle. I got some information of your favourite food and I hope you like it. You mother cooked extremely well, I'm afraid you will criticise them." Her eyes sparkled joyfully. She was trying to let Hermione laugh. But she didn't.

The silence returned. She knew this time the breaker had to be her.

"I decided to go to Knockturn Alley for a job. I had tried to get one in Diagon Alley, but they refused me for my age. I was sorry to get you in trouble and forced you to pull me back from it. Anyway, I was glad there was someone loved me and let me stay away from the danger. But I have to go, I must live on myself. I graciously thank you for the help, but I didn't want to bother you anymore. I know you raised your children hardly. I didn't mean that I looked down upon you, and it's so much for a family like yours to shoulder."

She had been thinking since her way down the stairs. She knew it was like a jail, she would have to be under the help by them and not have a time to look out to see the world. She admitted that teens her age should live in a family and under the precaution of the parents worried them one day would have to live in the world without them. She knew it was the best choice for her to stay. It was no use for her to be outside and it was too early. But she simply wanted to live alone.

It was her decision. She had to be independent, along. She could see those unbelievable looks. She wanted to live along, she wanted to be along. She loved this warmth, she almost drowning into it. And it was time for her to get out, tidy herself, and be on the next journey.

She didn't want to hurt them, and they were hurt. They exchanged looks and didn't say anything. Dumbledore had told them to leave her along if she didn't like it. However, they was sure she would stay. They observed that she enjoyed the environment here, and she liked the food and had a sound sleep.

They didn't like the idea to leave her along and they knew they have to.

"I need to go home now, it was quite a long way from here." She fought her tears back, and smiled happily. It was time for her to go. She would miss them, from now on. She got on the bus, waved to them.

Her tears didn't fall before she turned her back to them. She didn't wanna go, but she didn't regret doing this.


	25. Chapter 24 Little did I know

She came back to the only place she belonged to—Hogwarts. It became her home and the one she had only. She came down the train, lifting her suitcases on the floor. Students around were screaming, exhilarated seeing the magnificent building. The castle was the building that first surprised her by its outside looking, the smell of age. She had been to many countries, actually, her parents had a hobby to travel to different places. She could still recall the first time she went out with them. She wanted to stay at home, with her books and her knowledge, but they insisted that she should go with them. They set off on a Monday, in her summer holiday. They went to Paris, though her parents had been there before and they disliked to double-visit somewhere but a need to let her view had apparently occurred to their mind. She loved the landscape and its culture, and by the way, the buildings and the feelings on the road.

She loved recalling, but it was time to stop. She had been standing in the snow like a tree, and the snow covered her make her looked like a snowman. She tried to move her feet, but she couldn't move a toe. She sighed, and sat on the snow. She remembered that when she was a little kid, her favorite snow-day-activity was sitting on the snow. It seemed like her whole body was contacting with the weather. She could sense the happiness inside every flake. Her mom always worried her catching a cold, but it got nothing on the activity in a kid's mind.

There was none to stop her like her mother did.

She hadn't set off to live a new life when everything broke down, and the things only remained for her to do was sitting on the snow, watching the snow fell across her tears. She was a loser, she cried so many times after the death.

No matter how time past, the death would always be inside her heart, deepen and deepen, until her forget how to get rid of it.

She needed to grow up, from teen to adult, learned to fix all these things up. Of course, it took time.

"So, you was depressed and just stayed there?" She recognised that voice.

She managed to stand up, stumbled. The road was bumping, she thought.

When she finally got her mind into work, she confused. Why could he appear here, in this special occasion?

"Long time no see. I get into some kinds of… trouble."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Sure." Then she had nothing to start with.

He understood her. He picked up her hands, grabbed in his. She blushed, she didn't expect this.

She didn't even know whether she liked him. But she wanted to touch his hands.

She grabbed in return.

He chuckled at the little movement. She thought.

However, she didn't know he chuckled for the decision he made. He was too activated facing her. He was strange, and trying to deny the joyful smile on his face.

He told her his name. She didn't hear clearly, and missed it.

Little did her know, his name was Severus Snape.


	26. Chapter 25 Meet you right now

_From now on, this story will come to a "part two", a new form contains phases of past life, using present tense to depict. I decided to reupdate the previous chapters after all the story was finished. Hope you like it and thanks for the support._

 **Chapter 25 Phase one**

 **Meet you right now**

 **Hermione:**

I come into the room. My heart is beating so quickly, and I just can't stop it. Everything becomes different since we have been together. I think it is "being together" because he took my hands that day and didn't left before I entered the common room. But it is weird, he hasn't see anything to me that inquired me about if I could be her girlfriend. Moreover, the whole week after was terrible, I mean, I haven't seen him since that day. And I don't believe that he acting to be shy. Though I haven't known him well enough, but it seems like I have been knowing him since the last time of life.

Nothing could convince me that, I must have been crazy.

I sit on the position I discovered to be the most comfortable one in my first year. It is beside the window and has a good view to the outside. The parchment and quills have been prepared well on the desk and waiting for me to do something. And for the first time, I have no idea what to do. I always want to write something, I enjoy writing something down and sensing the smell of knowledge. I don't want to start right now, it's not the right moment and I don't have the right mood.

My mind wanders. I realize that I was thinking like a girl who had been waiting for her prince for years. I was thinking like those women I disgusted their drowning in love and couldn't get out. Love is a jail which defined you to be in it forever, till death. I became one of the prisoners.

I play that new song in my head. I heard it this summer, telling a story of a pair of lovers being apart from each other and the miss deep in their bones. They loved so hardly, used all of their life, and separated, saying won't meet again. My heart aches, I could hear it screaming, crying, till hoarse.

I set my jaw on my hands, and imagine him to appear now.

 **Severus:**

I must have been mad. What did I do?

I grabbed her hands and continued it.

Lying on the tower, I count stars what I haven't done many years. It is an approach that could calm me down, and I haven't needed it these years. None could see me, except her. So there was nothing bothered me, nothing could affect me. I can feel that when she looks at me, she looks at me as a person not air. It has some point to live in this world.

I remember that her looking fell upon me, those brown eyes, in front of the amusement in it. She is perfect, she have got the first in her grade since the first year. She is good-looking, although not pretty, but is enough. She loves books, it can be found inside the conversations. She might not be the best one on the planet, but I would be the luckiest person if I have her.

"Fall in love at the first sight" is never a true thing to me. It is literal, like fairy tale, accidentally and unpredictable. I can't tell that I love her but I'm sure that I like her and her touches are acceptable. As a result, it isn't a "Fall in love at the first sight". All I attempt to do is to get close to her, closer and closer. Maybe we can be friends before I decide whether to go romantic or platonic. I can hear that little voice inside my heart urge to meet her the next day. However, it is not the best choice, I need to think all these things through and consider carefully what to do.

A week passed and I came to a conclusion—I would meet her ASAP.

 **Hermione:**

What did I see just now? Was it him?

I shook my head and there he is, after a week. I run over to him and I can't stop it. I hug him, like valentines. So deep that I almost hurt. So deep like we haven't met for a long time, and of course had been together for a longer time before it.

 **Severus:**

I get into the common room. The door is opened as if waiting for me. She is there, as in memory. She have noticed me, she run towards me. I can't cease that hope inside my heart. Would she greet me?

She hugs me. Nothing's better than that.

It is a pity that I don't love her.


	27. Chapter 26 Arrogant

**Chapter 26 Phase two**

 **Arrogant**

 **Severus:**

Hermione and I have been having good times together the last two months. As the summer vocation is coming, we went to several places near Hogsmeade. We both enjoyed those spectacular views, I mean, the hills and grass in front of them. The villas were as brilliant as we imagined for they had a long history and various types. There were lots of them actually, standing there like some fighters protecting the peace area.

I haven't noticed that I am a person who like travelling. I had heard of the experience before, and I don't feel like to be one of them. I fancy spending the whole afternoon with my book and coffee. It isn't a good habit, anyway, I just like it. And on that day, I found shocking that I fancied that trip with her. I don't know which word to pick to describe the shock, and more, the excitement. I felt like I was the first time being in the right age I was in. I finally look myself as a teenager.

I know how silly it is, but all I think about is getting more after the war. Maybe we can be best friends. The similarities we share let me have a feeling that we are made for each other, we are soulmates.

This is totally impossible.

I come to the door subconsciously, we had deal to meet here.

 **Hermione:**

We wandered down the corridor, I walked a bit quick—I was too eager to let him see my friends. They might have known each other before, but this time was going to be special. For all of them.

There them was, in the room on the eighth floor, it was a place could answer all the needs.

"Hello, Ron, where's Harry?" I am curious, we all agreed to arrive on time.

"He got an intention this night, Mr. Filch was angry with him. He might not be back after we complete, so just start it." Ron says, he is furious. His face turns into the same color as his hair.

I am about to reassure him when Severus suddenly speaks. He isn't a man speaking a lot.

"It seems like he doesn't have his mind with him." Initially, I suspect that my ears break down. The fact that Ron doesn't reply anything convince me. I think it's time to start.

"Ron, this is Severus Snape, Sev, this is Ron Weasley."

The Two of them don't shake hands like I hope, Sev must be too shy. Ron swallows hardly and murmurs something I can't hear clearly. They don't like this.

Ron excused himself and left.

 **Severus:**

Ron left, I want to clap. Good work, red head. I don't like them. Gryffindor, the most annoying thing in the world, not one of. Look, that Harry boy don't even have a timing. The way they do things, just, every step is wrong.

Hermione doesn't have a high spirit, she loves them, and she is upset. How could she? They are little brats, empty mind, forget important things. Our relationship dismayed her.

She is passing those pictures when I catch her hands. She turns back her head, I am overwhelmed. I don't like that face.

I got no idea what I said, she ran away.

I screwed things up. I decided to float around the castle before daybreak.

 **Hermione:**

How could he? I wanted to use arrogant to blame him, but somehow I couldn't say it. I couldn't look into those dark eyes.

I ran away, he made me sick.

 **Ron:**

I was very surprised when Harry appeared in the corner seconds after they left. I came back to apologize, and I thought it didn't have a point since Severus was with her. She would be ok.

Harry came out and we came back to the dormitory.

"Hi, buddy, why do you hide there?" I thought he told me he couldn't make it here.

"I don't have the intention. I just want to see who Severus is actually. Sometimes the different degree have the different world. Can you see him?"

"No. I was freak out when Hermione talked like there was somebody. We must to help her. It's not like something she will recover soon. It will be terrified only thinking she would keep doing this."

"We must."

We sank in the beds and stayed up all night.


	28. Chapter 27 Regret for upsetting her

**Chapter 28 Phase Three**

 **Regret for upsetting her**

The best thing in the world is not you love the person who love you, all his/her life, but it's he regrets to upset you and apologize to regain you, even him/her doesn't know what they did.

 **Hermione:**

I don't know what could love do before I met him. I thought it is an emotion which can cause a person becomes another one, change him/her for a period of time. Then any wounds would cure by time. Finally, I realized, everything could be cure except love.

Severus came to me yesterday, a month after that, and the end of the term. It was so strange that professors all agreed to let us have a normal summer holiday. Many of us had planned to stay in the castle till the end of war or the end of the seventh year. We were all looking forward to this holiday, and all worrying about it. We had learned that the outside world was getting dangerous and dangerous.

We don't afraid of war, we afraid of death. It sounds like a coward saying, but we actually do. We have lived for almost 16 years, and it's like the start of our life. We like to fight for our world and we would like to pray that we could have the chance to live in a new, peaceful world. We don't want to escape this responsibility, we only want to see the effect and enjoy it. We have a faith to succeed, we determine to fight against all the enemies. There can be a chance we fail to defend ourselves, we know it, then we don't have any wishes. We do what we can to protect our justice, we hope to have a life after.

Severus came with a book, it contented various ways of making gadgets which were believed to have an effect on protection. I never thought he would like to bring me such thing, but I can't deny that I love it. He came for apologize, and I excused for him that he was out of his mind when he was saying that.

It was sad that he was the one who made mistakes and I was the one who excuse for him. I realized that he was special to me.

 **Severus:**

I brought her the book I found in a girl's dormitory(of course I bought the same version myself). I didn't know what she like, I discovered that I didn't know her enough. She was special to me, I had known it from the beginning. I need to get more comprehension, to get familiar with her. We have so much things in common, and she hadn't mention what she liked for books before. She loves books, they're her life. It acted that she liked all kinds of books, and that made the choice for me a struggle. She loves all then she loves none in particular.

I guessed she might adore this sort of books at this special time.

We talked and it was fortunate she not only loved the book, but also forgave me for it. Though I don't know what I said that day, I feel like it is better to apologize for whatever I do. I regret for not behave well, and more, I regret for upsetting her.

We have and will come through many things together, face the difficulties, and I don't want this relationship ever comes to an end.

Maybe I like her a bit. A little bit.


	29. Chapter 28 Love in library

**Chapter 28 Phase four (the last one)**

 **Love in Library**

 **Severus:**

Hermione and I have been together since the beginning of the sixth year. I don't know that I whether I love her that much, but it is enough for we to be together. Lot of things have been happened, we have experienced them and learn from them. It seems that there are two problems between us.

One of them is Harry and Ron. We can't tolerate each other. The gap between Gryffindor and me. I don't attend the school, I just live here, but I'm sure if I am the students, I won't be in Gryffindor. I loathe them, character and even expressions. It's prejudice, I know it, but nothing could be done. I don't mean to hurt them, and I'm sure them me. But what we did made us to this stage. Apparently, Hermione isn't satisfied. She tried to make a balance, obviously, we can't stop fighting. She chose me which I thought I was right and lucky to have her, and also proud that I weighed more than them. It's childish, love makes people childish.

Hermione isn't in a well condition. Most of the peers hate her, and more, afraid of her. They take her as sane, and I account for it. They can't see me. Nobody can beside her. I can't believe it first, but in fact, she can see me. It was perfect that it was her and not someone else. When she spends time with me, in the hall, classes and common room, she is stared. It slowly acted to be a show, a performance, some of the students even sold tickets for this.

Her friends don't like her like before, however, they are special. They have used all methods to help her back to who she is, and have failed till now. It was cruel, and they couldn't accept the fact that Hermione stays like this for time none knows how long.

The most shocking thing is that Hermione herself have accepted the fact herself. She was hurt at the start, she cried all night and played truant. Then she asked me why, I didn't tell her anything, and incredibly, she loved me as she had done. I cared about her feelings. It's not the time I could tell her anything. At least, after the war. She didn't bother with this question. I was a bit worried about this, and she finally came through all this.

There are only two that could see me, my older brother and I. The day on the battlefield where I first meet her, I begged him to get her back. It couldn't be me. I couldn't even lift her. I don't have the ability most of humans do. I'm not a ghost, but we have similarities.

We both love books, no doubt that we would have a big bookshelf after the war. We have to live through it. We want a love none can disturb, and nothing as well.

Library is the perfect place for both of us.

 **Hermione:**

He was sitting on the chair near the window. The sunshine was shining on the floor, curtain half closed. He was holding a book, smiling in his eyes. The warmth gave him some delight. He stood up, black robes covered his body. He was so handsome and he was mine. The "ghost" was charming, and he stood up to look for me.

It was a love I wanted and dreamed of in childhood.

I walked towards him, hands covered his eyes.

I giggle, the last one I have before the war.

* * *

It is the last chapter before the war. I am planning to reupdate to correct some mistakes. If you have some advice about the war, please review. I know the process they love is suddenly, I'm not good at describing this, so I choose some of the phases to depict. Hope you love it.


	30. Chapter 29 Severus secret

**Chapter 29**

 **Severus' secret**

I was born in a normal family, kind of "normal" I think. My mom was very kind, she never argued with my father or anyone else. On the contrary, my father was a worse person, he drank each day and came home to hit my mum. He was an evil, and I didn't know why my mom like him. He was not the man she had thought she would love or have the possibility to love, but she loved him, more than I thought.

She wasn't aware of the fact that each time she was hurt by my father, I would crawl in a cupboard watching them. She cried, said sorry, begged him to stop and have a talk. He was drunk, and would never reply with a full sentence. I even doubted whether he heard it clearly and understood it clearly. She didn't like this life, but she like him, and it was enough for her to stay.

The last time I saw her she was in bed. My father died at 36 or some age like that. I didn't notice he born in which year. He died and left a lot of debt to my mom. It was hard for her to paid the bills and other things. She sold the house which she bought before married my father, and lived in a small apartment. She couldn't make her way back to that house. It carried all memories with my father.

I had spent 3 years in Hogwarts by the time I heard that she had to stay in bed. That summer was really hot. It was the hottest according to the weather forecast. She was plopped up by pillows. Her hair all white, she still had a long life to go, right? I knew the life expectancy of witches well. She deserved a longer life. We didn't talk much that summer. She didn't have the attempt to talk, neither do I. I couldn't stand the atmosphere, and asked whether I could get a part-time job somewhere. She simply nodded, I thought she knew it well.

I avoided to back to that flat. She would be better and soon would be able to go outside.

Then that day came. One of our neighbours told me that she was dead. I caught his collar tightly, I cried loudly. However, I knew it must have been true. I staggered back home. It was my home. She had already been buried, it was known that she asked the neighbours to not tell me before that. The house was empty, an envelope on the table, baring the solitude.

I unenveloped it.

Severus:

You may have seen this letter after my death. I don't know whether you would come back, I guess you will. I know you don't hate me that much, right?

Life has to have an end. Everybody have that, remember what I have told you when you were a toddler? Life have been defined many ways, but also not. No one has defined how long a life should be. I think this must be an end of mine. Don't be silly to let tears down, you are a man now.

There isn't a thing I prepare to tell you other than this. In the envelope, there is a pair of ring for you and your wife. It's a gift left for you. If you like, take them. The rings were believed to have some secret, I don't understand, you can try one on your finger, maybe that could help.

Mrs. Snape

* * *

So there come the war. Chapter 29 is a longer one, and this is the first piece.


	31. Chapter 30 The growing adolescent

**Chapter 30**

 **The growing adolescent**

Severus picked up the ring. The pattern on acted that it was something made many years ago, and might a thing pass between generations. His mother's family—the Princes, has a none-know-how-long history, the first record was found to be several centuries before. The family that has a history like this must have something that is at least equal to his great grandfather's age, which he believed the ring was made in.

He turned it around and around, but there was no secret found. He wore the male one on his finger, nothing weird. It seemed that the ring was a most ordinary one. Discovering this, he suddenly lost his interest. At the moment that he attempted to left it on the table, the ring went back to his finger again. He guessed that it might contained a spell which can avoid been left somewhere away from its owner. It was time for him to search an approach to leave it alone. It didn't same right for him to wear it back to school, he was a third year student, not a seventh year. He let out a sight, sank into the sofa. The house was too empty.

The week before school started he had all devoted into the library in his house and the Princes to find out the secret. Day by day, he got things nonsense. He hadn't had a meal that could be called meal for days, but he wasn't starved. The secret was too "charming" to him, he didn't have the mood to have food. Flipping the pages, he stared at one photo which let him cheered. The photo depicted a ring, extremely like his, but there was small difference—the pattern on the right revealed that it was a female one. He looked at it carefully, every word, and came to a conclusion that it was a production to its pattern. The Gothic pattern which had many meanings, but it didn't mention the secret.

Time flies. The week ended without him founding the secret. He got on the train, a boy came in the apartment and sat on his legs. He didn't feel any pain or gravity. It was that time when he realized he became a ghost.

The shock was too hard to recover. He floated in the hall, which he discovered that he could do a minute ago. He wrote his name on his friend's hand. Instead of helping him, his friend's expression was blank, that he didn't know him.

What did the ring do? He decided to repulse it.

He was growing, still, which he found amazingly. The classes were nothing to him, so Hogsmeade turned out to be a new goal. He went to bars, floated, where none could see him. He preferred to prank, then one day, the trouble came. One man could see him.

He was very glad, and a bit worried. They walked on the path, talking about him. The man told him he could be seen by him because his family made the rings many years ago. And the only other one was that could see him was his wife.

He didn't believe this, and didn't plan to.

They met often after that, and soon became friends. They addressed each other brother.

On the day Hermione got hurt, he asked him whether he wanted her to be his wife, he rejected, cooly.

He admits he regrets.


	32. Chapter 31 Mano a mano

**Chapter 31**

 **Mano a Mano**

It took Severus a year to discover the ring's half secret. He inferred that if he gave the ring to his wife, he would have a chance be the real person.

"Hermione, would you like to wear this?" The ring was lying in his hand. They had been together for a while, but he still couldn't call he Mione.

The witch was surprised at this, obviously. She looked at him, love deeply hid in her eyes. She had been waiting for this day since he became her boyfriend, and she didn't expect it to happen this quickly.

He leaned forward, hold her left hand, and put the ring on her finger. She hugged him tightly, kissed his lips. He tasted her lips, sighed for its sweet.

Leaves fell down the tree.

Night came and gone.

No matter who chose to attack the students and Hogwarts, Hermione wanted to rid it head off. Last night gave her too much pleasure, and she would like to stay in bed. However, Sev wasn't here.

Outside, the voice of spells, and groans filled up the place. She ran down the stairs, two at a time. On the time she reached the first floor, she grasped her wand in hands and walked slowly towards the hall. Everybody was hurting or being hurt, and the some of the first years crawled in the corner. They were too frightened and young to lift their wands at others.

Severus was not here.

She didn't know where he was.

She fought, her hands trembled because of tiredness and fear. She was afraid of Severus to be killed or injured badly.

It seemed had passed a century when the war finally stopped. She sat on the floor, hardly have the strength to get up. The clothes she wore still have the smell of him. She blushed, smiled shyly.

"Watch out!"

She slowly turned around her head, Avada Kedavra was heading towards her. Too late for anybody to rescue. She was stunned and couldn't move.

* * *

Severus woke up and found that he came back to a human. He existed, truly existed. Hermione was not waking yet, and he didn't want to wake her up. He put on his robe, and slipped out of the room. He was a Slytherin, but he didn't think that he was sorted in that house. He didn't have the memory with his school life and he didn't want to admit because Hermione disliked them. It was Ok to tell her he was in Slytherin, he knew it, but he loathed to let her changed her attitude. She had the right to be the one who she wanted to be. He didn't have that memory, and his character explained everything, what did it matter anymore.

He didn't calculate the time he walked it the castle and he didn't fight against anyone.

He just hoped this war to stop and he would be with Hermione forever. He was sure that he loved her.

When the war was eventually stopped, he came down the stairs. Hermione was there, sitting on the floor. He thought she wasn't awake, and it was good to see her safe and chatting. When the ward came, he strode forward with no thought.

He collapsed on the floor, lift one hand up. He wanted to hold her one more time.

It was too late when Hermione stumbled and reach his hand. Only a fingertip away when his hand fell.

"Forget me." So softly. She heard it clearly.

"Sev, can we go back to last night?"


	33. Epilogue

**Amour by FLH**

 **Epilogue**

Hermione got up in sunlight, wooden window half open. She overslept, again. Her notoriously messy hair was more untidy than usual, and it smelled terrible. She ran her hands into the mess, trying to remember what happened before she fell asleep. A few scenes flashed over her mind, she contemplated to figure it out. She had hanged over, she definitely drank too much wine last night. The taste of that wine still could be felt in her mouth. Her mouth was dry, she wanted water, desperately.

She closed the book beside her bed, put it on the nightstand. Turning off the light which must have been on the whole night, she cursed for not finding her shoes. She moved around clumsily, hands reaching out for her glasses. Obviously, it was not anywhere near to reach, she kept touching things like someone who's blind.

"Mom, has you got up? Can we have breakfast now? We have made some puddings and orange-juice, do you prefer something else?"

"Alicia, thanks a lot. Would you like to find my glasses for me, I just couldn't find it anywhere."

"No, mom. I'm Cecilia. Alicia is downstairs, doing the crosswords. She got in love with it recently. "

"Sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean that. I wasn't in my mind ."

As Cecilia put her glasses into her hands, they went into the hall.

Alicia stood up, and pulled the chair out of their dinner table so Hermione could sit directly. She murmured a "thank you" and bit a mouthful part in the pudding. She didn't notice that the two girls looked at each other encouragingly and nodded before determined to say something.

"We received the letters from Hogwarts this morning, saying that we need some staff to bring to school."

Hermione stopped to eat, and chewing hardly. She didn't know why she was a little disappointed. It finally came the day they went to Hogwarts. She knew it would come, and they would leave her like Severus did. Like their father. Oh, they would get back every year at least, spending the summer in home( maybe with friends either). After graduation, they would have their own life. They would live in their own world, thinking about her from time to time. She would become the mother who's left in some deserted part of their heart. Visiting her would only be a kind of tradition to keep to behave the manner. Hermione didn't afraid of getting old, she afraid of being left alone.

"Let's go to Diagon Alley after breakfast, you can choose what you like." Anyway, it was the way things needed to sort out. Just face it, Hermione! You are a war hero who defeated Voldemort. She thought.

The twins hold their hands under the table. Coughing, and preparing to continue asking the most important question.

"Mom, we have got some information about Hogwarts. We discovered that there were four houses. We seem to have some similarity of students in Slytherin, would you mind if we are sorted into it?" Their mother had been a famous Gryffindor, her housemates seemed to believe they would be there to somehow "inherit" the "tradition".

"You have the possibility to be there. As I said, your father was one of them, you can follow his steps. He's one of the best students I ever have the luck to know. Every house is one of the best of the world, and they are equal to any extent. No matter which house you might be studying in, I would be proud of you.

She kissed on their foreheads. Their smooth skin let her feel a kind of disoriented, like they were only months old, only, the little angels in her entire life.

Severus, we are living a peaceful and joyful life, can you see it? She wanted her to know that they were alright, the kids would let him be proud.

She excused herself, and came back to her bedroom. She sank in the sofa, touching her daughters' photos for the last time. Murmuring some incantations, she put on a bitter smile. Suddenly, whether it was a right decision wouldn't be so sure.

Later

The twins found a man saying was their dad standing in the room, holding their mom tightly when they came to her bedroom. She was so pale, her warm amber eyes left all the liveness. Wand lying on the bookshelf, wet with blood. Her usual pink cheek turned into a grey, whit colour. Her fingers crossed together with their fathers.

The view of their dead mom was too much for children 11 years old. They got the father they dreamed of, but they also wanted their mother back.

They used to ask their mom, where did papa go? Did he hate them?

Hermione would always say, their father was a hero, a hero worthy all kinds of respect. It was an honour to be his children. It was an honour to have a mother like Hermione as well.

Everything takes something from other things. Love is excepted. There's a way to bring death back, at the cost of the leaving one's life. Whole life. But the most needed require is—love. The most genuine love. If no love involved, it will turn out to be a 'life debt', and will lead to the slave bond…

The wine she drunk and kept a lot was Severus' favorite, the room was furnished in a simple way like he liked it all the time. His clothes was clean in the wardrobe.


End file.
